Today was his birthday

White Crane · July 20

Today was my DH 86th birthday. To celebrate, I took cookies to the MC unit and they all sang the birthday song to him. He looked at his cards several times and at his presents…some puzzles…several times. Mostly though he didn't really know what was going on. The aide who walked me out when I left put her arm around me and said she knew how hard it is. Yes, it is hard, and sad and any other sad feeling there is. I miss him so much.

Earlier in the day I visited my brother who is in the hospital for about the 5th time in the last two or three months. He lives in assisted living and is handicapped and can't use his left arm. He also has MCI. Normally I head to the ER when the AL calls me that they are sending him out but last night I was just too tired. The hospital called later that evening and he had been admitted…again. I have spent about 18 hours total at the ER with him in the last couple of months and am worn out. I am his DPOA so they call me whenever he needs anything or is I'll.

Last week, I received the annual review forms in the mail for my DH Medicaid. Last year the lawyer filled it out for me at no charge. This year she wanted $500 to fill them out. Since I can't afford that, I have spent several days trying to fill them out myself and praying I do it right so he doesn't lose his benefits.

Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with macular degeneration and cried all the way home from the opthamologist's office. I guess I'm rambling but what I really am saying is that I am feeling overwhelmed right now and scared too.

JulietteBee · July 20

I am so very sorry to hear all that you are going through. As you can literally take only one step at a time, so too, you can only deal with one emergency at a time. Prioritize yourself for once. Get a good cry. It is cathartic. Then find your nearest Dairy Queen and treat yoursekf to a sweet treat. Hugs!🫂

Jgirl57 · July 21

So sorry for the weight on your shoulders. High emotional demands. A good cry is very beneficial and I agree with JB, a bit of ice cream goes well with a good cry. Hope your eye doctor has good ideas for your macular degeneration (((HUG)))

Goodlife2025 · July 21

I second that hoping some of the new treatments for macular degeneration can work for you. We understand how overwhelming it must all feel. A good cry and some sleep may help tomorrow look a little better.

tonyac2 · July 21

I’m sorry too @White Crane. So much on your plate. I pray you can catch a break soon. Hugs to you.

Biggles · July 21

Oh dear White Crane how sad and exhausting. It sounds as though you are being bombarded from left and right, and the challenges just keep on coming. The last gasp is trying to fill out forms correctly under such trying conditions. Eyes are very scary when they start to deteriorate, I too am battling a form of macula, they can’t do anything for it, they say “we are watching it!” Sight is very precious. I can also relate to the care you give to your brother, how lucky he is to have you. I adore my older brother, although he is 2000 kilometres away, we would do anything for each other, he is the one who rings with kind, caring, and distracting words. I hope you can get a good nights sleep, and some good simple food. Start afresh in the morning. Sending you strength and courage.

jgreen · July 21

Dear @White Crane

I agree with all the above. Your DH is being cared for and so is your brother. So DO take some time for yourself. You are doing the very best you can under horrific circumstances. You are in my prayers.

Keep us posted.

💝

EarlInCA · July 21

Please check with your local ALZ support services https://www.alz.org/help-support/community for help with those forms. Free legal assistance is available in many areas to those in need. You are carrying a heavy burden, hope this helps a bit. Hope it gets easier for you.

White Crane · July 22

Dear Forum Friends, thank you. Your kind words and advice always lift me up. I thank God for each of you. The forms were mailed yesterday and I pray everything is acceptable. I slept well last night for the first time in over a week. While I didn't get any ice cream, I did buy some fresh fruit and am enjoying it.

Biggles, I'm sorry you are also dealing with sight problems. My prayers are with you. Your brother is blessed to have you and you to have him.

My brother went back to the AL facility yesterday and I will go check on him today. He has no family except my sister and me. Again, thank you all so much.

Brenda

Today was his birthday

Comments

Commonly Used Abbreviations

Community Guidelines

Categories