65 DW diagnosed with Dementia

kjaymes · July 23

This is so hard!! My mom whom I loved so much and supported for 10 years with dementia died in April 2025. during her final decline, my 63 year old wife started showing signs of dementia. She was just formally diagnosed last week (July 15th). She is progressing with this disease at a very rapid pace. She now forgets who I am and thinks I'm someone else a couple times a day (after 33 years of being together). The someone else she thinks I am is a person she really does not like. She continually wants to pack bags and go home, when we are already at home!

This feels so unfair! She's 66 and I'm 63.

We worked hard all our life! Did everything we were supposed to do! Invested our money and paid off our bills so that we could retire and see the world! This disease sucks bigtime! This is the time I'm really ready to live!!

The job I retired from was a commercial construction position (Supt) where you didn't want to talk to me unless you had a problem. I would immediately focus on the solution! I was a "focus on the solution, not the problem type of guy.,,, and was good at it!

With this disease, there is no solutions. This is something I cannot solve! That's what makes it so devastating! It will only get worse.

Today wasn't a good day, but I'm glad I found this forum.

Thanks

AlekoW · July 23

I’m new here too. Glad you found the site. Pretty knowledgeable & empathetic people.
Sounds you already have some experience under your belt with your mom. My DW (61) was Dx’d with younger onset in February; trying to get treatment. I am not yet to the emotional end; been so focused and getting her treatment, job loss, legal matters, and all that. I’m 59. Never saw this coming, though with her mom & grandmother both having Alz maybe I should have thought it a possibility.

Anyway, these are good people. Good to be here. Welcome, man.

kjaymes · July 23

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/278083#Comment_278083

Thanks

blacksparky · July 23

So sorry to hear about your DW. I was in your shoes almost 4 years ago. My DW was dx with EOAD at the age of 53 with the Dr saying it probably start 5+ years earlier. She was at the stage where the treatments to slow down the disease weren’t going to help, even though if she was eligible I’m not sure she would have done it. Glad to hear you are taking care of all the legal things while your DW can still participate and sign. The only other advice I can give you is take it one day at a time. If you have a bucket list of things you two wanted to do and as long as she is able to, do them and make some memories for you in the future. We’re here for you anytime so just reach out.

beachwalker5 · July 24

"She now forgets who I am and thinks I'm someone else a couple times a day (after 33 years of being together). The someone else she thinks I am is a person she really does not like."

I've noticed this same occasional behavior in my DW (her specific diagnosis is still in process). A family member told me about Capgras Syndrome which affects 17% of Lewy Body Dementia patients. If you do a search in this forum or on the web for this term, you can get more info about it and see if it applies to your DW's behavior. This might explain the "two versions of the same person, one good, one bad" which I've witnessed occasionally in my DW's behavior with respect me and other family members and friends. Just a thought, as always seek out professional medical advice/ assessment from your DW's doctor(s) to determine if she's suffering from this syndrome or some other condition.

kjaymes · August 4

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/278203#Comment_278203

I'll do that. Thanks for the information. Not an easy pill to swallow.

Maru · August 4

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/76630/65-dw-diagnosed-with-dementia

I am really sorry that you find yourself here. Yes, all those carefully laid plans for that "someday" when we will enjoy the good life…just another thing to grieve and let go of. Now, you have to find a way to make peace with the life that has been handed to you. Sadly, having watched your mother go through this, you know what can lie ahead. I hope that when your mother was ill that you learned how to deal with a LO with dementia. Sending hugs.

annie51 · August 4

Welcome new people. Sorry you have to be here but it’s a wonderful place to be under the circumstances. There’s nothing I can say to make it easier - just that we’re here to help if we can or just lend an empathetic ear when you feel like you’re about to explode. Sending hugs!

65 DW diagnosed with Dementia

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