Change of my getting a new car has caused the worst confusion ever

Barbie300 · July 26

My DH and I only have one car and I do most of the driving. It’s a very old car and recently has become unreliable, so I took him with me to a dealership and bought a new car. This has caused severe confusion and he can’t seem to grasp that we now have a different car. He woke up in the middle of the night and was very agitated that we had made a grave mistake and keeps saying there was no reason to buy another car. I keep repeating that we need reliable transportation and the old car wasn’t reliable. I’ve probably explained that we had to get a different car and the whole scenario 100 times but he can’t seem to grasp it. I was afraid this might cause some confusion but this is over the top. I’m trying to be patient bc each time he repeats this, I feel so bad for him and almost start to cry. It is heartbreaking. Hopefully with time he can adjust to having a different car. Does anyone have any suggestions to help him adjust?

SDianeL · July 26

Sadly, he will not adjust. Ever. You can't reason with someone whose reasoner is broken. We also bought a new car. I kept pointing out how nice it was and took him with me to get it washed. He would get a rag and polish the tires and vacuum the interior. That seemed to help. Is the car where he can see it? Is it triggering him?

dcare45 · July 26

I don't know how cognizant your DH is. Maybe you can try it's just a loaner because our "other" car is getting worked on. It might buy a little time until the next fixation comes along. Unfortunately helping him understand will not happen. If he is a guy that used to do all the car repairs add Oh, we have been so busy I thought I would get a little help this time. Fibbing to give a LO a little peace is not wrong. You are probably dealing with a lot on top of the car issue so don't beat yourself up. Cry when you need to, we all do.

White Crane · July 26

Barbie300, I can sympathize for you. In 2020, I bought a new car. There was nothing wrong with the car we had but it didn't have enough safety features to keep DH and me safe since it was hard for him to sit still and let me drive. He was furious when I brought home the new car! And he stayed furious for quite a while. He finally stopped harping about it but it took a while. If I had it to do over again, I would have told him that our car was in the shop for repairs and the shop lent us this one until it was repaired. And I would have repeated that everytime he said something.

Change of my getting a new car has caused the worst confusion ever

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