The long journey is over

Crkddy
Crkddy Member Posts: 107
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

My precious dear wife passed yesterday after an 8 1/2 - year journey with early onset Alzheimer's. She was 55 when first diagnosed and had just turned 64 this month. Of course, I am deeply saddened by her passing but also relieved at the same time. It has been a long hard journey for us both.

There are so many of you on your own journeys and I am so sorry for each of you. It's hard to give advice because each journey is as unique as the individuals involved. But I would leave you with a few thoughts:

Be loving, gentle, patient, and kind to your loved one. Remember, their brain is damaged so they cannot behave as they once did.

Be flexible and adapt because just when you think you have a routine established, it will need to change.

Take care of yourself. The journey is tiresome and often lonely so find ways to do something for yourself and recharge.

And finally, know that you are not alone. There are others in your community in similar situations. Support groups are likely already established, as well as volunteer and private pay caregivers. Reach out and ask for help.

Thanks to each of you on this forum that have provided advice, insight, support, and comfort. Best wishes to you all.

Comments

  • MaryMN
    MaryMN Member Posts: 84
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    Thank you for the kind words and wisdom you have shared during your own time of grief. It is a testament to the care you provided for your dear wife. God bless!

  • dcare45
    dcare45 Member Posts: 255
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    I am sorry for your loss. As horrible as dementia is EOD is another level of cruel.

    Thank you for your inspiring words. God bless you and your family.

  • A. Marie
    A. Marie Member Posts: 142
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    Thank you, Crkddy, for your words of wisdom. And I wish you comfort and peace as you enter Stage 8.

  • wose
    wose Member Posts: 447
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    I’m so sorry for your loss. Seven and counting days were so much for you and your DW to endure. She’s at peace now and hopefully you can try to rest peacefully also knowing her suffering is over. Wonderful job caregiver warrior, she was blessed to have you in her corner.💙💕

  • Russinator
    Russinator Member Posts: 381
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    I am sorry for your loss. God bless you and your family.

  • easy23
    easy23 Member Posts: 452
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    I am sorry to hear of your loss! You were a loving, caring husband. Peace.

  • Goodlife2025
    Goodlife2025 Member Posts: 497
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    So sorry to hear of your DW passing, may you have the support and loving care you deserve during this time.

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 905
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    Thank you for your wise words. May your DW rest in peace and I wish you peace on your continuing journey.

  • jgreen
    jgreen Member Posts: 535
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    Dear @Crkddy

    Thank you for the words of wisdom/experience. And thank you for letting us know.

    May perpetual light shine upon your dear wife, and may she now rest in peace. Take care of yourself, and do return when you are ready and let us know how you are doing.

    Hugs to you and your family 💝

  • CharlieS
    CharlieS Member Posts: 35
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    I am so sorry for your loss, Crkddy. Your post is a testament to the loving care you gave your DW. Thank you for the words of wisdom you shared with us. God bless you and your family.

  • TrumpetSwan
    TrumpetSwan Member Posts: 147
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    Sorry for your loss, Crkddy. You did a wonderful job for your dear wife.

    Thank you also for sharing your thoughts about patience and flexibility for those in the caregiver role.

    Stage 8 is real and indeed is a part of this journey. Bless you and your family.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 6,986
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    I'm sorry for the loss of your dear wife. So very young.
    HB

  • Chance Rider
    Chance Rider Member Posts: 398
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    I’m sorry for the loss of your dear wife. That you shared words of wisdom with us as you’re grieving your loss speaks volumes to the kind and caring person you are. {{{Hugs}}}

  • annie51
    annie51 Member Posts: 830
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    I’m so sorry for your loss, especially at such a young age. I understand the feeling of relief because we know our LO will be happier leaving the dreaded dementia behind. But you will need time to adapt to this…please continue to come here for support. There are many here in Stage 8 that can still have an empathetic ear. And thank you for your words of wisdom. We have all learned so much from each other. Take care of yourself now and know that we’re praying for you.

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 902
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    So very sorry; thank you for sharing the reminders . Peace to you and your family .

  • Lethe
    Lethe Member Posts: 129
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    Sending healing thoughts your way. And thank you for your words of advice. I’m sorry for your loss of your dear wife.

  • White Crane
    White Crane Member Posts: 1,247
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    I am so sorry for your loss.

  • Sunfish47
    Sunfish47 Member Posts: 147
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    So sorry for the loss of your DW. May her memory be a blessing.

  • notequipped
    notequipped Member Posts: 151
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    So very sorry for your loss.

  • Karen711
    Karen711 Member Posts: 305
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    Crkddy- I'm so sorry for your loss! I hope you find some peace in knowing she is no longer suffering!

    Hugs

  • JoseyWales
    JoseyWales Member Posts: 651
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    I'm so sorry for your loss, and the loss of the future I'm sure you dreamed of before dementia. I hope your memories of earlier days becomes brighter than the suffering at the end.

  • Maru
    Maru Member Posts: 561
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    I am sorry for your loss. May you find comfort in the knowledge that you loved her to the end.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 3,421
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    so sorry for your loss. Cherish the memories. May she rest in peace. 🙏💜

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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