It's Me Again...

Journey813 · August 1

I would like to thank all of you that are giving me such good advice so for. My mom is in a confused/ delusional state all day no longer in and out. Even when speaking on the phone which use to break up the confusion but no longer does. The recent issue which I hate to mention this but I don't want to vent about this to family, but she has flirted with me on several occasions (yes you read that correctly). As I said she doesn't know who I am especially in my home she refers to me as sis(what she calls a member of her church) or refers to me as brother like she is back in the 70s giving me handshakes. I feel so uncomfortable & angry when she does that and I actually had to tell her firmly that is not appropriate and she apologized she seemed to know exactly what she was doing in that moment just not to whom.

I have been a CNA for 5 years and I have had residents do these things before but its more cringe quite naturally because of who it's coming from at this point. Does anyone have experience doing previous caregiving work with patients and now caring for a loved one and have you found the need to wear scrubs to let them know you are a caregiver not a random person?

Emily 123 · August 1

Hello,

That sounds uncomfortable! I think the scrubs is a good idea, as long as she's okay with having help from an aide (my mom was really private and didn't like having their help). If you think this is a bit of a jump for her you could have her checked for a UTI?

In Mom's later stages it would take her longer and longer to recognize me on some days. There were a few days where I don't think she knew me at all. I think some of it was driven by how rested she was or if her routine had been disrupted that day, so I tried to time things after lunch as she was best then, but there never was an exact schedule that guaranteed how oriented she was to me.

Journey813 · August 1

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/278867#Comment_278867

She has no UTI or anything when I took her to ER because of a bad exiting day with aggressiveness she has nothing but the deterioration of the brain. She only does this in the morning usually before sun rise so it is dark in the home so i am sure that plays a role but as I say she has not known who I am since I brought her into my home 2 months ago. Only when we went to the ER but that changed the moment we got into the car. I don't think she will mind the uniform. It will also give me extra pockets since I have to carry my phone and other things with me (she throws things away or confiscates them in a blink of an eye).

harshedbuzz · August 2

@Journey813

I am so sorry you are dealing with this common symptom. I wonder if the scrubs gambit might help although with a lack of social filter, maybe not.

Dad once confused my adult niece for my mom back-in-the-day. It was very traumatic.

HB

Journey813 · August 16

Definitely traumatizing. So far nothing is helping. I have put more light in my home and each moment I leave the room and come back she thinks I'm someone different. One moment I'm mom and she tries to take care of me ( I think that's her mimicking me calling her mom & caring for her) next moment I'm "the girl that works here". When the flirting occurs I have no idea what she sees.

caregiving daughter · August 16

Visual is huge so maybe

I had to wear an arm sling to encourage my mom to not be so angry with me. It worked.

Journey813 · August 18

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/280121#Comment_280121

Wow. I think it's the fact she hallucinates all day and her eyesight is bad.

Daisy4U · August 19

Sorry you are facing this. Have you tried announcing who you are whenever you enter her room/presence. Perhaps a "Hi Mom, it's me, your daughter, <name>", on entering could help stave off the confusion, although I appreciate it could be exhausting.

Journey813 · August 19

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/280346#Comment_280346

When she speaks to me when I come into the room I say it but she just responds as if she doesn't understand. I just take it hour by hour.

Daisy4U · August 19

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/280374#Comment_280374

I hear you! 😞 We have a tendency to keep trying to apply rational strategies, but the tragedy is that this is not a rational disease situation. Wishing you strength for this difficult journey.

It's Me Again...

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