Is denial a thing

It’s fairly common for dementia patients to think they have nothing wrong with them. The name for this is Anosognosia. There’s no point in trying to make them agree that they have dementia. It’s best to not even say the word to them. I stuck with ‘memory loss’ when discussing things with mom, even saying it was due to age. You just have to develop work arounds, using fiblets or redirecting the conversation

There’s lots of good advice on this forum.

Before anything, now is the time to make sure all of the necessary legal documents are in place while your DH can still sign them. Most important is a DPOA (Durable Power of Attorney), this is very important. Some financial institutions require their own version of a DPOA even if you already have a general one.

A HIPPA release gives you permission to get information from his doctors, otherwise they can’t really consult with you. Then an Advanced Directive (aka living will, Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment (POLST)) states your DH’s treatment wishes (such as do not resuscitate), and should designate you to allow you to make medical decisions for his care, which technically you can do with a DPOA, but a POLST is commonly recognized for this in the medical world. Others to consider are Trusts, wills, social security representative payee designation (allows you to manage his SS account), beneficiary designations, etc.

I can see myself in your post. My DH was also diagnosed in the moderate stage because it was like pulling teeth to get him to see a doctor about his memory loss - like your DH, couldn’t remember days, our address, our phone number, trouble telling time. But after all that I don’t think I ever told him he had Alzheimer’s. Sometimes he knew he had something wrong so if he asked me I just said you have a problem with your memory sometimes. I also said “but you have me here to help when you need it”.

You have good advice here about getting your legal affairs in order while he is still capable of signing documents (if you have not done that yet). Make sure you find a Certified Elder Law Attorney (CELA). They are better equipped for situations like this.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, especially at such a young age. My DH was my best friend also and it was very hard losing that along with many other things about him I loved. But with that deep love comes the strength to help him through it. Keep coming back here anytime for advice or a shoulder to cry on.

Denial is not always a straight forward thing. My DH with ALZ knew there was something wrong several years before he was tested. I had just chalked it up to aging brain. Now he is in the middle stages. If we are home alone there are times when he will refer to his brain not working well, while at the same time attempting to be the man who knows everything about our finances. On the other hand, if we have company or we are at the doctor's office, he will pretty much be in total denial. There is no straight line anything in ALZ.