Feeling Hopeless

weeklyl · August 5

My mom has Alzheimer’s and in is in an Assisted Living place. She has done okay up until recently when we discovered she will only take a shower on Friday evenings and she hasn’t been using soap or shampoo. We also noticed late last year she loses control of her bowels and doesn’t realize it. We have tried to get her to wear Depends, but she refuses. It is a fight every time we go to take her out because she fights about wearing them and we have to tell her we won’t take her unless she does. We have worked with the Assisted Living facility and uped her care, but she is refusing help with a shower and anything else. She has become aggressive and combative. It breaks my heart because I don’t know how to help her. Suggestions please!

SusanB-dil · August 5

When it was time for the 'adult undies', we took the others away. We put them in that drawer instead of the regulars. I have seen where others have had to do the same.

Showering and hygiene are a very common source of frustration. We had one caregiver that would meet her in the hall as she was just getting up, steer her into the bath, and really not argue, but just matter-of-fact would tell her 'ok, it is bath time' and talked her through it. Pretty much before she had a chance or thought to argue back. We have also used those 'bathing wipes' that you don't need to rinse. Maybe good in a pinch, and definitely better than nothing.

Your mom may need a medication adjustment to tamp down that agitation. If this has been a bit of a sudden change, also check for any UTI.

Sorry you are dealing with 'this'.

weeklyl · August 5

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/279214#Comment_279214

Thank you so much. That was all very helpful!

H1235 · August 6

I know most people probably shower much more than once a week, but mom’s doctor said one shower a week was fine. She is not getting dirty or working up a sweat. Body wipes were mentioned, but I bought mom the flushable bottom wipes to get private areas a bit cleaner. This might be good if she is having problems with her bowels. I agree with Susan it may be time to talk with her doctor about medication for her agitation. Unfortunately it’s pretty common with dementia. It might be a good idea to make sure there is a solid plan B in place for when al is no longer doable. So sorry you are in this situation.

Feeling Hopeless

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