Hiring help

stananon · August 8

This is my first post. I have gotten a lot of good information from reading other posts on this topic, but have not found the answer to this question. My DW has had several falls, and I must hire a CNA to help out, and perhaps give me respite time, time to do errands, research care living alternatives, etc. I do not feel I can leave DW alone anymore, She has severe sundowning, but is much better in morning (and generally at 8 pm bedtime). Is hiring the helper best for in the AM. I do not need cleaning or cooking, just someone to help her not fall while I am out, and offer some conversation and/or simple activity. Yes, she has anosognosia. Help in the afternoon would save me a lot of anguish and anxiety, but may not be the most helpful to DW, without a really special helper. Thoughts?

Michele P · August 8

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/76782/hiring-help

Welcome. If there is an Oasis Senior Helpers in your area, contact them. They can put you in touch with in home care agencies that are fully vetted. They can also help you with touring memory care facilities. If she is falling, I would put her on a waitlist at a memory care facility now. She is not safe in your home.

Timmyd · August 8

My recommendation is to hire the caregiver for the hours that are best for you. When do you prefer to be out of the house? Give the caregiver a chance to do their job, be that during her good hours or her difficult hours. You can always adjust as needed.

Lethe · August 8

I can’t speak to best time… but be very specific about what you would like the care giver to do while they are there. I broke my foot/ankle and hired a caregiver (for both of us) for four hours a day. My DH is still fairly independent in ADL’s. In the initial interview I listed pretty much everything I was looking for them to do. Then each day I provided a list of things to be done that particular day. Some caregiviers only need/want the helper to sit with the loved one and engage with them as much as possible. Out care giver also did all the things I couldn’t do (laundry, shopping etc) because I wasn’t able to weight bear or drive and DH no longer drives. She also occasionally took DH out for ice cream or to store etc. But being very upfront about what you need and are looking for seems key. We got very lucky with the person I hired. I hope you find the right person for your situation.

persevere · August 9

I’ve had my helper for right at a year now. Got her off care.com. It takes a few minutes for everyone to get comfortable but now she’s basically a member of the family. I have her come from noon to 4 several days a week. Her schedule is very flexible fortunately. Sometimes I’m just hanging around the house and sometimes I’m running errands or just getting out. She helps put clothes away and does light cleaning and is able to help my DW with toileting etc. She also helps the hospice aid when necessary. I see a lot of reluctance many times here and I get it. In fact, I just posted about my guilty feelings when I go out to do things. But you gotta do what you gotta do to get through this. Also it’s nice to just have someone you can talk to yourself. My wife is a walker and my helper is right there with her.

sandwichone123 · August 9

Even though you don't need help with cooking or cleaning, you might want to ask the caregiver to do some of that so your DW doesn't feel like the person is babysitting. You can say you're hiring someone to help you rather than her, which sometimes goes over better.

I am in agreement that you should hire someone for the time that works best for you, and also that you should spend some of that time looking at memory care facilities. Perhaps you could start with a mix of mornings and afternoon/evenings and see which works out better for you. I suggest looking at several, as they are not all the same and you will be able to notice the contrasts.

stananon · August 11

Thanks, everyone of these responses touches me and gives me the courage to make that call to find the right care help.

Hiring help

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