Refuses to get medical help

TomC0917 · August 11

My LW, 79, diagnosed w/early onset Alz last year, was discharged from the hospital last week. She was admitted for diarrhea/vomiting, fever and disorientation. Found out a lot of what she didn't have, nothing on the cause of the fever and digestive issues. She was sent home with antibiotics. She finished them 5 days ago. The digestive issues are back. She was referred to a gastroenterologist, appt in Sept. She now refuses any attempts to see if we can get the appt moved up. Any suggestions on how to get her to see that this is important.

Ed's mom · August 11

Can you change the appointment and tell her on that day? I'm learning how to go around my LO to accomplish goals like appointments. This site gives tons of support, ideas and permission to sometimes be devious. Good luck.

annie51 · August 11

I agree with @Ed's mom , try to change it and tell her that day. I did that with my DH and it usually worked quite well. I would just say shortly before we had to go, “oh you have a doctors appointment today. Maybe after we can go for a walk at the park?” or something like that. Trying to reason with her about why it’s important will be an exercise in futility, I’m afraid. As I said here often “you can’t reason with someone whose reasoner is broken”. I hope you can get her in sooner!

dcare45 · August 11

Since she has Alzheimer's you probable should make her health care decisions. Hopefully you have a HCPOA. I have one for my DW and have never been asked to produce it. I took over for health care early on knowing DW would not be able to manage the appointments or meds. As the comments above suggested, I make the appointments and write them on the calendrer the day of the appointment. Then say Oh I see WE have a doc appointment today.

TomC0917 · August 12

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/279667#Comment_279667

We do have a HCPOA in place with our daughter as primary agent. We set up up that way since even though I have not been diagnosed with any physical or cognitive issues, it was the best long term route for care for both of us. Short term it may not have been in DW best interest. Probably need to revise the POA

trottingalong · August 12

I’ve never been asked for the POA even though I have it. I set all my husbands appt. I never tell him he has an appt until the day of. If I do, he stresses and says over and over he will not go. If they figure out what is wrong with your wife, you then must decide how far if any you are willing to put her through for a cure. I balance all medical care on how much it would impact my husband mentally and physically.

Refuses to get medical help

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