My mother - Monitoring her and also finding part-time support

Hi everyone. Thank you to anyone who has time to read my long introduction:

Four years ago my husband, young-adult child, and I moved in next door to my mother, who had been diagnosed with MCI around 2016, I think. She has not been diagnosed yet with AD, because she won't get the PET scan. However, she seems to be declining in a very similar way to her mother who died of AD—very gradually, with similar traits/behaviors. At this point, she has lost her short-term memory, with the exception of random things that stick for a while, she asks the same questions and repeats the same statements over and over, she gets confused about things, has lost sense of time, day, year, etc., and her anxiety has increased.

She still takes care of herself and her cat (though I’ve caught some slips with that). She makes her own breakfast and lunch, and we provide her dinner almost every night. We also grocery shop for her, and we take care of house maintenance and her bills. She does not drive, so I’ll take her on errands when I have time outside of work, and I take her to church weekly. The fact that she is still somewhat independent is in large part due to how incredibly organized she has been throughout her life. 

There are two things I am struggling with right now. One is that even though I live next door to her and can pop over there anytime I am home, and of course I can call her, I don’t really see what goes on over there, because I don’t live with her. There have probably been several times when she has forgotten to feed her cat or fed her too much. I also can’t always keep track of Mom’s sleeping or bathing. I can tell she sleeps much more in the daytime, so I wonder how much she is wandering in the night. My sister has told me that when she visits, she observes Mom repeating a lot of actions at bedtime, such as checking doors and asking my sister this or that repeatedly, feeling anxious about maintaining her house and routine. I inspect her fridge and cupboards, so I see how fast the food is eaten, she looks well fed. I’ve been thinking of putting a camera in the kitchen or living room, but she would find it and probably get very upset, and I do want to respect her privacy while she is still independent. She always says how grateful she is to be aging in her own home, and her cat is a source a great security and happiness, but I think it's getting tough on her. And I need to see for myself. And then, how do I know when to make a change?

The other struggle I am facing (and is taking a toll on me) is that the only time my family and I can go anywhere overnight is if my sister is in town to stay with Mom. My sister lives across the country and still works full time, so her time off rarely coincides with a good time for us to get away. After 4 years, my family and I are feeling the strain of it. We need some freedom. We don’t know many people here, so I feel I need to pay someone for support.

Is it realistic to think I could find someone who could get to know her and maybe spend time with her once a week on a regular basis? Then once she feels good with the person, I could depend on that person if we needed a night away or a vacation? In that case, they could stay in our house. Or I guess they could stay in her guest room, if she is comfortable. I feel like this would also solve the problem of her boredom and lack of social interaction (except for church). She is not comfortable going to classes at our adult community center, and my schedule can’t accommodate going to any with her.

Sometimes I think she would thrive more and we’d feel better if she was in MC. We’ve had thoughts of moving back to where we came from, the region of the country we love so much, bringing her with us and getting her in a nice MC near us. I know I’m only 60, but I am feeling so tired and am wanting to settle down and plan for my own aging. 

Thanks for listening. Any advice or support would be welcome.