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New here caring for 97yo Mom with severe dementia

Achick
Achick Member Posts: 3
Fifth Anniversary First Comment
Member

Hi folks, I have had my 97 yo Mother living with me since March. I am SO overwhelmed - she is snappy and mean most of the time - always right no matter what and I am so demoralized. My name is Faith. We just got accepted for TN Choices group 3 - which is crazy because she needs to be in a Nursing Home - just got accepted for Medicaid which I hope will help. She refuses to get into the shower, hasn't had her hair washed in 6 months. I am just looking for suppport from others who have similar challenges

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  • towhee
    towhee Member Posts: 642
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Likes
    Member

    Welcome. Showering and hair washing is unfortunately a common problem. Sometimes they will cooperate more with an outside aid. There are no rinse shampoos and caps that you can use without getting in the shower.

  • SusanB-dil
    SusanB-dil Member Posts: 962
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Likes 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Welcome - agreeing with towhee. No rinse shampoos, and rinse-free bath sponges. Maybe not totally ideal, but definitely way better than nothing.

    Do tell her doc. She may need an adjustment on meds to dial back that agitation and aggression.

    Do check out adult daycare for her. We called it the community center. Maybe a day or more a week, or possibly some in-home assistance - for your own respite and well-being. Please don't get burned out. Caregiver burnout is real, and it sounds like you definitely need a break.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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