Today Is Another Day

Biggles · August 17

So today is Monday morning I am working on the gentle discipline of our routine, with the help of some soft music with words of love to keep me on track. We shower, we breakfast with the birds in my garden outside. I have my regular phone call from our daughter. DH is now having trouble swallowing his pills but we get through that and I’m looking forward to a walk in the park this afternoon. My sister rings, we talk and talk and laugh and share but I can feel my DH getting anxious, I’m desperate to keep talking, my sister lives 2000kl away and we don’t talk that often. Finally I say I’ll have to go, and I know I’m going to pay for this call. I walk inside DH is angry, throws a hissy fit, I have a choice to acknowledge or not to acknowledge. I chose the latter put on Dianna Kural, ignored the bad temper, put some hash browns into the air fryer, made a hot chocolate and happily offered them. Anger was avoided hot chocolate and hash browns were accepted but I was silently in tears and exhausted, and no one knows, this is the stress we have to face daily.

Russinator · August 17

((HUGS))

annie51 · August 17

Biggles, you’ve so mastered the art of caregiving. Thank you for sharing that.
Sending hugs 🫂

persevere · August 17

So eloquent Biggles. Familiar routine. I have to say I’m lucky in that DW does not get angry too much. She just humbles and wanders nonstop. Humble is my new word. It’s humming and mumbling at the same time. Kinda like Chinese water torture.

wose · August 17

You are remarkable. That’s the first thing that comes to mind. Your remarkable adaptability to each situation. I’m so sorry. The fact that no one knows crushes me too but instead of hot chocolate and hash browns I break out in my opera voice and sing like I never have before. I’m surprised the dogs aren’t howling in the neighborhood. Hopefully I’m not torturing poor DH. The stress of improvising is truly hellish. Big hug for you from across the pond💙

dcare45 · August 17

You are doing an Angels job in this horrible situation.

KDSG · August 17

Hi Biggles,

Your posts are very helpful to me. It is Monday morning and I am having a sprinkler system installed because I can’t do everything. My DH is beside himself about this, he keeps going to the windows asking what they are doing and why. I have explained it at least a dozen times and spent the last month telling him about it. I am trying to distract him but it is so exhausting. I am just venting I know that it is not him. Anything out of the routine is a major anxiety producer for him.

storycrafter · August 17

Thank you for sharing this. It touches my heart in many ways. I'm with you in spirit. I'm grateful for your sensitive, thoughtful writing. ~ Helen

annie51 · August 17

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/280185#Comment_280185

@KDSG I can so relate to this when we had a new driveway put in. He got anxious, angry, curious, I never knew what was coming next. When the cement truck was late, the guys were all standing around waiting and he went ballistic. Locked me out of the house when I wouldn’t kick them all off the property. You’re right - it’s exhausting!

Dusty217 · August 17

Hugs to you and thank you . I read these posts to educate myself about the future. My hubby is early MCI but I see the handwriting on the wall for the future. We went on a cruise in Jan and he could not tolerate the mass confusion. Crowds gave him anxiety and we spent lots of time in our cabin. I worry as he progresses his anxiety will come out in anger. I am a buck 60. 5'2". He is 250 and 5'11". Reading yours and other posts I am learning ways to keep things calm and hopefully defuse situations in the future.

Karen711 · August 17

A familiar story indeed. Even though DW has been up in the night and we've both lost untold hours of sleep day after day, I try to get up each morning with a renewed attitude. Sometimes the birds help, Diana Krall here too, and dear Lily the Lab. But it gets worn away so easily these days. That "price to pay" can so easily drive an emotional wedge right through the heart of a marriage. I use my time away from home (with caregiver help) to connect with friends and family a LOT! And I take Lily with me as often I can. Hugs to you Biggles! 💜🐾

Biggles · August 18

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/280160#Comment_280160

Humming and mumbling sound so sweet she just humbles and then I read it sounds like Chinese torture ha ha ha had me in stiches

Sparklebutt · August 19

KDSG - we’re also having new concrete plus pavers in front and back. DH must have asked me 10 times a day if they were going to jackhammer the concrete. I think he was worried about the noise? He would get agitated over all of the ongoing decisions and discussions with the construction foreman. Now the foreman has been around DH enough that he now knows how to include him in the “conversation” by looking at DH and saying “ what do you think “ knowing full well that he’ll have to listen to DHs very slow and irregular response.

What a lovely thing to have a person give DH his full attention if even for a few minutes.

And it is exhausting. All of it. All of the time.
It’s as though I now have an “On” switch the never turns off.

Hugs to all; we are amazing!

White Crane · August 19

Sending big hugs.

Lethe · August 21

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/76863/today-is-another-day

We know Biggles…and I’m thankful for your post that so beautifully expresses what we here know. It is so hard. I was with my DH for 3 days “alone” with nothing on the schedule. After he unplugged Alexa for the millionth time and I couldn’t get “her” back online, and his frustration was great about not being able to get wordle and connections on his phone (Nevermind that he can no longer do these puzzles)…. I was desperate to talk with anyone. So I made us a reservation @ the “communal table” at our local pizza place. Turns out our table mates were not feeling communal so that made me feel even lonelier. Sending you big hugs.

Biggles · August 29

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/280171#Comment_280171

Oh worse another laugh thank you, and I got the hug. I have just booked tickets for next year, hopefully DH will be able to partake, to see live performance of Music of the Night. Nice big operatic sounds, I will be thinking of your input here and have a chuckle.

Today Is Another Day

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