Six Months

CindyBum · August 18

Well…it's been six months since my DW passed and I can't believe I find myself thinking about whether I'll have a relationship ever again. I just turned 60, so I guess it makes some sense, but it's only been six months! How can I be thinking about that so quickly after losing the love of my life?

As I type that I also find myself remembering; I haven't had someone reach out to hold my hand, even, for nearly 5 years. I was always the one to hold her hand or reach out to put my hand on her knee as she drifted away. I guess I've been lonely for a very long time now.

The funny thing is, I'm not really lonely like I was while my DW was alive, but not really there. I am enjoying my own company and happy to not have a relationship to deal with. I know I never want to have to be a caregiver again, if I can help it.

This grieving business after caregiving someone with dementia is so odd.

sandwichone123 · August 19

For me it's been three months since Joe died, but four years he was in memory care. I'm not really looking for a special someone, but I would like to go on first and second dates and have some conversations over coffee or other. I mean, I can go out with my dad, but that's more like caregiving than conversation. I can go out with my son, but he has some social difficulties and I end up getting lectured. I'd like to go out with someone my own age. Someone I only have to see if there's something in it for me, not because I feel responsible for them.

Daisy4U · August 19

It been six weeks since my LO passed away and I am starting to realize how isolated I became as a primary caregiver. It was just me and them for so long. Now that they are no longer here, there's a big vacuum. I lost touch with friends along the way because I was never available to attend outings, dinners and events in over a decade of caregiving. Now, I find myself in a social desert. It's like starting life over again from a relational standpoint.

CindyBum · August 19

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/280318#Comment_280318

Exactly, sandwichone! I don't want a relationship. I'm definitely not ready for something like that and have no real interest in it. But to feel like a real person with a potential social life sounds pretty great.

JDancer · August 23

A relationship would fill a void that's been present for many years,but I don't want to risk becoming a caregiver again. 2 1/2 months after my spouse's death, I finally get to focus on myself and use my time the way I want.

Six Months

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