not sure of next step

jjfitness · August 19

wife was diagnosed with frontal lobe 2.5 years ago. thought i could handle this myself today she said I wish *** this is the breaking point for me. absolutely overwhelmed where do i go?

sandwichone123 · August 20

Hi JJ, welcome! I'm sorry you need to be here. You can click on ALZConnected Resources at the top and there is a support line you can call 24/7. They have trained advisors that can help you. The folks here that have called report that they've been very helpful with specific questions and situations.

towhee · August 20

Helpline number is 800 272 3900. They have heard it all and can be both a listening ear and provide information on next steps. You will get a recording and have to navigate some phone menus and you might have to leave a number for them to call back. They will call back. I have lost track of the times I called the helpline at 2am.

craftygalinstl · August 20

These discussion forums have been helpful to me. I’ve attended an in person seminar that was presented by the Alzheimer’s Association, and I attended my first support group meeting yesterday. I’ve also enrolled in a few online classes (free of charge) dealing with Communication issues in Dementia patients. I would not have found those resources if it weren’t for this website. I have not used the 24/7 helpline, but it sounds like that would be good place for you to start. Then, you can back track to some of the support discussions when you’re able to.

SDianeL · August 21

So sorry. If she is depressed, talk to her doctor about medication that will help. A Geriatric Psychiatrist is the best type of doctor to manage meds for dementia. Hugs. 💜

Maru · August 23

Agree with SDanieL…proper medication may help. Depression is not unusual for POD.

jjfitness · August 24

thank you all for supporting us and for thee info on next steps. from the bottom of my heart "THANK YOU"

Dio · August 25

I don't want to make light of your situation, but don't worry too much about what your wife said. My DH said the same in between lucid and non-lucid moments. Do monitor her behavior, though, and consult with her doctor. At the onset of my DH's decline, I was so unprepared and overwhelmed that I said many times I wish I could just disappear, or for the Almighty to take me because it was too painful for me to watch my LO suffer and me suffering along with him. Well, here I am, 5 years later. Still dealing with it, but definitely better armed with knowledge and wonderful support groups, knowing that I'm not alone and not facing the worst.

jgreen · August 26

Dear @jjfitness

I am so sorry you are going through this! This disease is so very hard! You’ve gotten great advice from members of our group. They are wonderful.

These things our LO’s say when least expected are so sad, scary, gut-wrenching; it’s hard not to react. Just know that if we are experiencing these raw emotions, our LO’s must be experiencing those same emotions tenfold! What they need (and us too) at the moment are reassurances that they are safe and loved. I have some phrases ‘at the ready’ to help me weather some of those moments:

“I’ve got you!”
“We can do this!”
”This is hard. We can make it through this together”
”We are safe”
“I will take care of this”
”I won’t let anyone hurt you”
”I love you!”

Now see about some meds for your DW and get the help line number in your smartphone so you have it ready if needed.

Take care and God bless you!

not sure of next step

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