Paranoid mother

ebeth26 · August 23

My mother has mid stage dementia and loses things constantly. She is now saying my adult children are stealing from her. She has accused enough of the family of stealing that now I’m the only one left to take care of her and my dad. I don’t know what to do. She cries cuz nobody will come visit but this is why

FarmerGF · August 23

Yeah the paranoia and delusions are really hard to take. They live in a different reality. They say to join them in their reality, but I hate it there. I would rather have any other physical ailment to deal with rather than the loss of their logic and common sense. I can neither fix it nor alleviate their distress over it.

Gilmore2008 · August 23

My mother loses things all the time or places them in weird places (bra in fridge, purse in a cabinet in MC hallway, hearing aids in cups in the hallway). She always thinks the MC staff is stealing from her.

H1235 · August 23

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/280684#Comment_280684

When my dad passed from cancer many years ago, it was several years of really tough stuff. But through it all I know without question how much he loved me and he in turn knew how much I loved him and would do anything for him. He trusted me without question. My mom’s suspicions, twisted logic and miss trust is hard to take when I am giving her so much of my time, energy, mental head space and sometimes even my health.

SusanB-dil · August 23

Hi and welcome ebeth26 - agree, it is so hurtful. Do tell her doc about the paranoia, maybe a meds adjustment might be in order.

MIL has no idea who I am, and doesn't really want me around her son. That really limits just how much assistance I can do. She screamed at me one night that 'you're not HER, and you're not his, so you can't tell me to take my meds'... A-HA!!! DH first wife passed years before we met. I am not her. So then who the heck am I and what nerve I have being around her and her son?!!! She is very anxious around me, and she starts getting agitated. It is hurtful, as she and FIL welcomed me so warmly. Now FIL has passed 16 yrs ago, and MIL hasn't known who I am for about 6 yrs.

Meds did help calm things down, though

mentioned before - i really HATE 'this'

ebeth26 · August 24

it’s helpful to know I’m not alone. This is quite literally one of the worst diseases. Unfortunately my mother won’t go to the dr anymore because my dad is physically unable to leave the house considering I have no assistance. And she can’t leave someone with him for her to go because they will “steal” from her. Therefore no medication either.

mjspurgeon1 · August 24

My Pop counts his money as soon as the caretaker leaves, several times. I watch him on the camera. He has called me telling me he can't find money we've already spent on groceries and such. I remind him it was spent already. I also escort him to the bank and am on his account. Possibly take control of her money and tell her you are managing it.

DinahK · August 24

is the paranoia greater when the parent is still at home with caregiver visits or in an assisted living facility?

Paranoid mother

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