Will not take a shower, bath is not available
My DW will not take a shower. Any thought on how to get to shower?
Comments
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I have seen a video on that…on YOUTUBE either Teepa Snow or Tam Cummings, but there may be others. I don't have experience with that yet, but I plan to assist my DH when the time comes. Part of helping them, is keeping you keeping a calm, easy tone of voice, while explaining each step as you gently guide the person into the shower. Have the water already the proper temperature. You may need a shower chair (Amazon) and you will have to get in the shower, as well. Have everything you will need right at hand (towels, wash cloth, soap, shampoo, etc) . The message that I got from the video is how important it is for you to be calm and to explain each step right before you do it. ("Now we are going to step into the shower"). If, he still refuses to shower, get the adult body wipes and clean him that way.
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My DW is also reluctant to take a shower. What has helped me along with the suggestions by @Maru was to drop the shower word. We keep the routine the same. Do the body part washing in the same order. We go in first thing in the morning right after toileting. I set up a space heater to warm up the restroom beforehand. I got a handheld shower head, so the water is not coming down on DWs face and head. I let it hang down when not wetting or rinsing, that has helped a lot. Hair washing is still a bit of an issue however if I keep the water off her face as much as possible it goes better. It takes a lot of trial and error but hang in there and keep trying, nothing is easy.
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Showering can be a major problem. When DH was still at home, he could never see the need to shower. He said he hadn't done anything to get dirty. Sometimes I could get him in the shower if I told him it was Saturday night and he had to shower to get ready for church the next morning. That worked for a while. When he absolutely refused, I told him I was going to massage his back which he always enjoyed. Then I would warm up the bathroom and sit a chair in the middle of the room. I put a towel on the chair and had him sit down…with no clothes on. Then I draped three towels over him so he wouldn't get cold. I used a product called Scrubzz to wash him with. These are presoaped bath sponges that can be ordered online. And I did massage his back but also washed each part of him separately only uncovering one area at a time. I tried to make it a loving experience for him. Afterward, I rubbed lotion into his feet and hands and back. By that time, He was usually sleepy and went straight to bed. Toward the end of his living at home, I had a shower aide who came twice a a week. For some reason, he would get into the shower for her when he wouldn't for me.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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