Feeling like I'm a target

I know and I’m sorry for you. You most likely are his target. I know I am. The minute my DH wakes up and sees me , the hatred starts. It starts up again at 5/6 pm. Medicine has helped tremendously, but has not eliminated it. I try so hard but the tears and fear and anger surface for me too. My DH is on Seroquel and is inching toward the max dose my geriatric psychiatrist is comfortable with. After that she said there were more options. I was very reluctant to medicate him but now I see it was the right thing to do. He still asks me for a divorce 1/2 times a day but he is much calmer and doesn’t chase me around the house as much. I sleep in a separate room ( I have cameras) and lock my door on his Drs advice. I also try to isolate and try “ not to poke the bear” I make sure every need is met but I do it inconspicuously. It’s not ideal but I need to find a way to calm him without placing him yet. It’s the constant name calling, insults and swipes at me that has me limiting my drives with him too. I find I can only get him out a few times a week now which adds to his frustration. And of course then the guilt sets in. I feel like I’m abusing him by not getting him out every day but I just can’t do it. I make his favorite treats which garnishes a smile and sometimes a thanks. I’m so sorry again, it’s hard keeping up the bright sunny disposition. A stroke definitely complicates your situation which I don’t have any experience with but maybe someone will. Keep coming here, write down all your thoughts and find a geriatric psychiatrist for DH. You matter too💕💙