Advice for first day of Adult Day Care

PalmReader · August 30

My DH will be having his trial day at adult day care. I have done a lot of research on centers in our area, and we choose one we both like. We visited together and had a really nice time. He even talked about it for a few days after our visit, saying how nice the people were and how it was a nice place.

Does anyone have advice for tips on the first day, or beginning days, to make the transition go smoothly? I want him to be happy and not to worry about being there without me. I was thinking of sending a photo of us in his lunch bag, and a note saying "I love you!"

Thanks for any tips or advice.

dcare45 · August 30

At first my DW would try to follow me right back out the door. The Aids would tell me she would be wound up for a while then eventually calm down. Now after I sign her in, I stand there while an Aid will take her by the hand for Hot Chocolate or a snack. As she is distracted and her back is to me, I slip out. They say that is working better. Feels odd not saying goodbye or see you later but it works for us.

eligius · August 30

On my DW’s first day affer I had left about an hour the center called me saying she was afraid i didn’t know where she was. Took her back home and on the 2nd try i stayed with her, off to the side observing and only stayed 1/2 day. Next time I left her for a full day. and she did fine, loving it and every time since. She goes once per week. Each week on daycare day I show her pix & videos of her there before leaving and she laugh & enjoys it. That gives me time to get groceries, work in yard, run errands and maybe nap.

eligius · August 30

the facility we use brings in a guy to sing & play oldies popular music from 3-4. One time, on the way out, my DW just broke into a dance so i had to stop her & record

. “… music hath charms…”

PalmReader · August 30

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/281158#Comment_281158

Thank you! I am glad that your DW likes it. He really liked it when we were there together, so hopefully he will like it on his own. Thank you for the video idea!

Snipe · September 1

DW had a hard time adjusting. Like others, I had to go back and pick her up after a short while. Another time she went out one of the doors and set the alarm off. Really didn’t know what to do. I looked at their activity schedule with the director and tried dropping her off around the time they had morning exercise class. She always went to the gym for years and took classes. I would pick her up in an hour but it worked. Gradually stretched the time out longer as she adjusted. Now I drop her off around 8-8:30 and pick her up after lunch, 1230 or so. We do that four days a week right now and it works. She doesn’t seem to mind at all. I may try her staying a bit longer once in a while. I get a few hours alone to do things and, more importantly, she participates in different activities with other people. Hopefully your DH adjusts quickly. If not, just keep at it. It may be a gradual process. Good luck.

PalmReader · September 4

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/281326#Comment_281326

Thank you. He had a great first day, but the second day he didn't want to stay. We are going to try going for an hour together next week, during the music therapy time, which was his favorite part of his first day. I'm hoping that if I stay with him and he enjoys the music therapy, then we can stretch it out. He also really enjoyed lunch and the morning walk. So, baby steps. I think he was just having a rough day on the second day. The director also suggested making him a "helper" because he commented that some of the other participants were "really old". My DH is 63. So maybe being a helper will appeal to him. The staff is so helpful! I really think he will like it, once he gets used to it.

Advice for first day of Adult Day Care

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