So much!

I made that journey last October with my DH. He was a wanderer and also was getting physically aggressive toward me. But unlike many others’ experience, my two favorite facilities did not have waiting lists. So once I made the decision, it was a go. My first choice was one that, like @blacksparky, was not the newest or the shiniest, but was clean and had a design that I felt would be beneficial to DH. The rooms were furnished so I didn’t have to arrange to bring furniture. The day before I had friends take DH for a walk and brought clothes and personal items as well as familiar pictures and books that he liked. I did bring a few small pieces of furniture later. The story I used was that we were invited to a new place for lunch. The facility was aware of my story and welcomed him with big hugs, brought him in to the lunch room and sat with him, while I quietly disappeared (the worst part of the story). He acclimated pretty well, although the in-house doctor had to make med adjustments the first few weeks to calm him some. They communicated all changes to me for approval, which I appreciated. It was a hard, hard time, but you know when it’s right for you and your husband. I hope things can go well for you.

As for your comment: Also, not sure why I am listed as a he/him - I am the wife and caretaker of my husband.
If you click on your profile at the top right of the screen, then click on “Account & Privacy Settings”, then Edit Profile Settings. You’ll see these settings that you can change.

Hi, Sunny D, my story is a little different. My DH went straight from the hospital to MC. I had known for a while that I needed to place him but kept putting it off. Then he got pneumonia and was so weak he couldn't walk on his own. I knew then that it was time so I talked to the social worker at the hospital. Then the doctor called me and said I could no longer care for him at home and it was time to place him. I already knew what facility I wanted him in and they had an opening. The social worker took care of everything and the hospital arranged transportation to get him there. It was both a relief and the saddest day of my life. It took quite a while for him to fully adjust but after 2 1/2 years, he has finally settled in and seems content. The facility is not new but it is clean and the staff takes good care of him and is very friendly. I hope you can find a place for your DH soon. Also, if you haven't done it already, you need to see an elderlaw attorney and make sure you have a durable power of attorney in place. If you will need Medicaid for your DH, the attorney can help you with that, too.