Is this the normal

You are certainly not expecting too much to want clean linens and clothing and good hygiene. That is basic care. The MC I chose for my DH had everything on a schedule from bed linen changes to which days of the week they would get him showered. They helped him change his clothes as often as they could but with incontinence it was necessary to do that quite often.
As far as encouraging participation in activities, in my opinion, that is part of the reason we choose MC facilities over nursing homes. I observed the staff at the MC bringing most everyone out of their rooms every day, first to eat, then bringing them to the activity room or to one of the living rooms with a TV to be around other people. If someone chose not to participate and go back to their room, of course they can’t force it. But there should be some attempt to get them out of the room for part or most of the day. It also gave them a chance to change the bedding and clean the room. I’m not sure what to tell you to do except talk to the staff about your concerns and raise it to higher level staff if you have to.

I am sorry that you are going though this. I know your anxiety and frustration very well.

My DH was in MC for several months and we/I had much the same experience as what you are going through. He stayed in his room most of the time with very little interest in going to activities. The activity director would kindly visit him once a week and spend one-on-one time with him, but there was not a lot he was interested in doing. In this particular facility, the caregiver to resident ratio was too high (2 aides to 16 residents) for them to be able to complete their tasks, which included laundry, so I began to take his laundry home and do it myself. There was too much laundry for them to do and everyone's clothes would pile up in the laundry room, so some of his clothing frequently disappeared. They also rarely changed the sheets on his bed, so I began to do that as well.

I have no words of wisdom for you, other than to try speaking with someone in administration, but I wanted you to know that what is happening with your LO is not unusual. If there are adult care homes in your vicinity, you may want to look into them. After five months in that MC, I finally moved him to a very small care home and both of us are happier. He gets close kind attention, visits the common areas, eats better, and his clothes are clean and not missing.