Moved to NC, 2640 miles one driver, DH with VD and 2 dogs!

RetiredTeacher · September 7

My son and his family live here and now so do we. I felt the window of opportunity closing rapidly. DH's mobity is declining rapidly. Difficult to walk with a walker or stand independently. He is still capable of understanding and thankfully was able to sign the papers for selling and buying the homes. I did underestimate my own super powers for being able to single handedly throw out 40 yrs of accumulated crap and pack 125 moving boxes solo. The drive was something. Hubby went through shorts and underwear even with a urinal! Finally told him to go commando the last 3 days. Went well until I discovered he had placed the urinal on its side and I didn't find out until we were at the hotel for the night! Grrr!! Some bad words were uttered! Finally got to NC. Glad we all made it. No internet and no TV yet, hubby is bored and clinging to me. The moving truck arrived today and I have 125 boxes to unpack and put away. There is a moral to this story...if your LO is not yet late stage and you really want or need to make a move, do it now. If I had waited another couple of months this would not be possible. Going to find a geriatric specialist Dr and find dementia care resources. I believe DH is getting close to qualifying for catastrophically disabled help through the VA. Will check into that soon. Only got here 6 days ago. Hanging in there and glad we were able to make the move when we did. God bless you all. I understand how hard this journey is.

Jgirl57 · September 7

So very proud of you!!!!!! Best wishes in your new home. What you did was amazing !!!!

Chance Rider · September 7

@RetiredTeacher thank you so much for checking in and letting us know how the move went. Sounds like you did a great job with the packing and driving across the country. You’re amazing and an inspiration!

wose · September 7

Holy Crap !!!!!! ( bad choice of words maybe ) … you give new meaning to “Gamer”, “ Triple Bagger” the list goes on. I am beyond impressed. Congratulations on your new home🥳 Now, take a little breather 💕💙

annie51 · September 8

Wow, you should be very proud to have gotten through that. What an incredible task you accomplished!

dcare45 · September 8

Great job! I wish I had half your motivation.

Scooterr · September 8

WOW!! You're amazing RetiredTeacher. The funny thing our son lives in NC and my DW is a retired teacher and they were wanted us to move to NC. Wonder Woman doesn't have anything on you, that's absolutely wonderful.

marier · September 8

Congratulations! Enjoy your new home! You are amazing.

Maru · September 8

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/77054/moved-to-nc-2640-miles-one-driver-dh-with-vd-and-2-dogs

All I can say is hats off to you. We made the move from Colorado Springs to north Texas right before DH was diagnosed. I did all the packing for a 3000 sq ft house and then all the driving, and we are older than dirt. It was overwhelming. I enjoyed your story and feel really hopeful about how you will make this journey as a caretaker. If you can see the humor in that move, I am confident that you will be able to tackle the problems that you will encounter. Good luck.

RetiredTeacher · September 8

Ty all for taking the time to respond. I realize the move will not change the final outcome for my husband but as someone said a while ago, picture yourself where you want to be in stage 8 and plan for that. We are here in NC, so beautifully green here. We found a house with woods off the back deck to watch the fireflies and a lake just 1 house away. We can see the lake from the swing on our front porch and the dining room. I find solace in the peaceful beauty we have here and enjoy the temporary escape from constant caregiving. I hope you all can find some way to enjoy a mini mental break from the constant work of careging. I appreciate all the support I have gotten here, ty all.

ronda b · September 8

Brave woman. Good luck with everything else coming in place smoothly. You a least have family to help some.

Abby627 · September 9

This is so encouraging! I am getting ready to move with my DH and am worried sick about how he will adjust. He’s closing in hard on Stage 6 and is so very confused. Did the move set your DH back?

trottingalong · September 9

kudos to you! That’s a very brave and challenging thing you did and accomplished..I honestly don’t know if I could find the strength. Sounds like you found a beautiful place.

Goodlife2025 · September 9

@RetiredTeacher I have been wondering how your move was coming along. Thank you so much for the update. Enjoy your new home, give yourself a rest, and keep us posted as you settle in.

Lethe · September 9

Retired teacher, Bravo… all I could think after reading this is get ready for DH to never find anything again…. It’s been five years for us in our “new” house and he still doesn’t know where anything is. But I also think about that comment I read here to think about where YOU want to land after strange 8. Excellent advice. I wish you both the best in NC!

RetiredTeacher · September 17

Update after moving:

I noticed DH declining rapidly the past 4 months prior to the move. That has continued here. Walking and standing for more than a very short time are difficult and he needs to lean on something or sit down. He uses a mobility scooter at the store. We are going Friday to get a mobility scooter so we can still go out. As for not finding anything after the move, that's life for both of us. Very little furniture, no dresser, etc. We do have a closet where I've put his clothes out on shelves snd he can find them and dress himself. He doesn't look for things, mostly sirs and watches TV. We did buy a large oled tv which he enjoys daily. Learning a different remote control has been difficult. Lots of coaching...every day, multiple times every day. Will he be able to learn it, probably not but I am here to help. I am going to reach out for resources and help here so I can go out once a week, even if it's just a few hours.

Goodlife2025 · September 18

Glad to hear from you Retired Teacher and that you are settling in. Enjoy the football games this fall, your lake view and take a deep breath. You have been through a lot and accomplished a feat that deserves a medal. Side note - My DW uses a shelf instead of a dresser for her clothing now too, hoping we can get another 6 months of self dressing doing it this way.

RetiredTeacher · September 19

So glad we moved when we did because DH has had urinary urge incontinence fir sometime and needs to use a urinal everywhere we go.. Today he woke up with BM in the underwear, 2 prs, alsi on the sheets, needed help dressing. Now in depends but still feels the need to go to the bathroom every few minutes….

misteelynn · September 19

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/77054/moved-to-nc-2640-miles-one-driver-dh-with-vd-and-2-dogs

First of all….Welcome to NC! I've lived here all of my life and it's a beautiful place to live.

I loved your story and I want you to know that I think you are so brave to have made this trip with your husband and your dogs. So many days of travel and moving into a new home. I can only imagine how stressful that was for you. I hope everything is settling down for you now.

Misteelynn

RetiredTeacher · September 19

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/282614#Comment_282614

Ty mistlynn. NC is an absolutely gorgeous state! So glad we made the mood when we did. DH is declining but i saw it coming before we left CA. It is sometimes difficult for us to look beyond the difficult struggles we deal with each and every day. I realize I am doing the very best I can and it is reality that he will get worse no matter what I do. I need to look at the long range plan and keep myself healthy enough to enjoy tge life in stage 8. Doesn't mean I don't love my DH, I still do but I am a realist. It's not his fault but he is no longer the same guy I married. I will continue to advocate for him to have the best life he is capable of bur I refuse to go down with the ALZ ship!

SDianeL · September 20

So glad you finished the move to NC. It is a beautiful state. I've been thinking of you lately. If you need any help with the VA let me know. I've been to the school of hard knocks with them. Hugs.

Moved to NC, 2640 miles one driver, DH with VD and 2 dogs!

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