A new inappropriate behavior

FillyRider · September 11

As I have mentioned before on this site, I assist an old friend (age 70) who has ALZ by taking them swimming a couple of times per week. Today, I started to enter one of individual family changing rooms because the "available" tag on the door indicated that it was unoccupied. A woman standing outside the door told me that there was actually a young man inside the changing room, and that she is his caregiver, and that the young man has autism and he doesn't like to have the door locked. My friend with ALZ suddenly flung the young man's changing room door absolutely wide open for all to see while letting out an odd giggle as though it was the funniest thing in the world. Luckily, the young man was fully dressed by then. When my friend was out of hearing distance, I apologized to the caregiver, and explained to her that my friend has dementia. Wow. Is there a way to manage or intercept this type of behavior? Am I in over my head? Should I continue to take my friend swimming??

SusanB-dil · September 12

I would think this incident was a one-off and as long as your person can handle the swimming that you could still go. And yeah, just keep an eye open now that you know about that other person if they are there, again.

Swimming is great exercise. As long as able, I'd say go for it.

JDancer · September 12

Is your friend still continent? Pool hygiene might be an issue.

FillyRider · September 12

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/282099#Comment_282099

This is great advice! Thank you.

caregiving daughter · September 12

I would not continue. While I understand your friend has dementia, they created unintended stress to another person. I would choose environments where this risk is not present. When you take someone with dementia out, you are the responsible party. I certainly understand you are only trying to do well.

MN Chickadee · September 13

I believe your previous post was also about his inability to control impulses with inappropriate touching of you. Has that been addressed by his family at all or has it continued? I suspect the days of him being at the pool may be limited. It's not the same as taking him shopping or out for a walk - there is an intimacy in a locker room, a certain basic decorum is expected. It may no longer be a good setting for him. You've gotten lucky that so far he hasn't messed with "the wrong person" where there are bad consequences to his behavior, but that could change any time. I think if it were me I'd quit with the pool and take him on walks instead where there won't be so many social pitfalls. His family could look into an adult day program. There they have staff trained in dementia care who will expertly redirect weird behaviors and help him get exercise and socialization in a setting that works well for dementia.

A new inappropriate behavior

Comments

Commonly Used Abbreviations

Community Guidelines

Categories