WHAT TO DO?

cwb49 · September 13

My precious wife has come to the stage where she either won't eat, or at best eats very little.

Is there anything I can do?

I have read the articles about eating issues, and know that I cannot force, cajole, or threaten her.

Your help in this matter will be greatly appreciated.

CWB

russeg · September 14

Ensure High protein chocolate flavor is good. Use in between meals.

harshedbuzz · September 13

@cwb49

At a certain stage, food becomes about calories in. When you get here, it's best to tempt her with high calorie options that appeal to her vs attempting a traditionally healthy diet. With dad, that meant milk shakes, fries, soft pretzels— things he could easily consume without help. With my aunt, we used a similar approach but even with that, sometimes she'd barely eat for a week or more and then return to eating like nothing had changed.

Has she lost significant weight? Weight loss over 10 or 20% body weight could mean failure to thrive and indicate it's time to bring on hospice.

HB

BPS · September 13

My wife was like that and lost 25% of her body weight and like @cwb49 said they said she had failure to thrive and her body was starting to shut down, so she went on hospice. Soon after that she started eating again and now she is eating sometimes one meal a day and sometimes 3 meals a day and has gained some weight back. That was about 10 months ago and she is still on hospice. Sometimes I wish she would have just comfortably faded away. She is bedridden and often sleeps 20 hours a day, she often times don't understand what is being said to her and has a hard time saying what she wants. She is alive but has no life.

stananon · September 13

My DW has lost about 25% of weight over the past 2 or 3 years. Her appetite has improved over the last month or so, and weight is stabilized. But yes, the goal is getting calories in. She rarely finishes a meal, and although she wants to go out to a restaurant frequently, she barely eats 20% of what she ordered…and then won't eat the take home portion. Frequent small snacks help.

I don't know anything about hospice relating to dementia, but am familiar with hospice for those with only 6 mos. expected life. will have to look up failure to thrive and hospice on these discussion boards. Thanks

jfkoc · September 13

Snacks not meals. Slip some pretein powder in shakes/applesauce/yogurt or over some ice cream. Applesauce…banana…some grapes. Cheese or peanut butter on crackers.

cwb49 · September 17

My thanks to all who replied.

I have tried the multiple types of snacks, and sometimes that works but not always. As to protein drinks, I have purchased nearly all brands available and get very little success with any of them. On that note, I will try the suggestion of putting the powder version in or on something, (thanks for that tip).

As to weight loss, she has never been very heavy, so any loss becomes obvious and concerning. Home scales are difficult to get accurate number, as I have to support her due to balance issues. It's not that she can't stand and move some on her own, it's just that I am afraid not to help, as I know a fall at this stage could be catastrophic for her and I need to keep her with me as long as possible. You see our home is 99% tile, i.e. a very hard surface.

Again, my many thanks to all!

CWB

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