the in between stages

kateyc · September 17

I am so grateful for this space. My mother came to live me and my husband 4 years ago. She is in the moderate stage of Alzheimer's dementia. I moved her from her beloved home and her independence in South Carolina. This is a humble business, and we've learned so much and have so much to learn.

We are entering a new stage that I would love some insight and practical advice.

She has walked, "jogged", alone, up and down the street we live on every day and only recently, and on only one occasion (that we know of) gotten disoriented and lost. We know this because our neighbor reached out. Thank God for community.

I initially spiraled, as I do whenever something seems to signal a new threat level and need for greater care. Can she no longer be left alone? Do I hire a caregiver? For how many hours per day? Is it really "that time"? Or. In this specific case, use a GPS tracker in the form of a watch that has a lock and can be set for a "green zone". Even though not perfect, is there some acceptable amount of risk?

RMremdler · September 17

I’m at that point as well with my husband. We’re still working on an etiology/root cause for the Alzheimer’s- like symptoms but like you, I wonder when I need to step in or initiate more precautions. Although I ask him questions like do you get lost, I also know that he may not be aware he’s lost.
I’m considering an AirTag so I can monitor where he is. I wouldn’t have to ask him if he got lost and I’d know it was time to not allow him out alone.

SusanB-dil · September 17

Hello and welcome kateyc, and RMremdler - I don't have the link to the 'dbat' at the moment, but please do look that up. It is a more detailed view of the 7 stages that most of us on here reference. It is a huge help, but also quite an eye-opener.

As other posts have said, most of us try to keep a step ahead of a stage. (and no, that isn't easy).

Does mom have any set time that she goes out? Maybe you could have someone go with her who is also into jogging?

Also, for both your LO's, I would definitely say no driving at this point.

I'm sorry you are dealing with 'this'.

Victoriaredux · September 18

One gets used to their LO's voice. You've been able to gage ,usually, if they are not telling the truth etc.

That only works if their brain is functional- you really can't trust their recollections of where they were , what they did or when after a certain point. Before I knew what was going on I would get stories of what a store or repair shop had told my LO. I would call to "straightened it out" and WHOA totally different take on the events. My LO didn't understand or recall what had happened. Yet everything else seems "fine."

All a tracker does is tell you where they are- not if it is safe for them as they cross streets etc.

April23 · September 18

“All a tracker does is tell you where they are- not if it is safe for them as they cross streets etc.”

This was my thought as well. Once you see she’s lost, is there anyone to get to her quickly enough before something happens? I found out my dad had gotten lost once (driving) when I still thought he was ”fine.” The fact that he wasn’t fine was revealed quickly after. Unfortunately we constantly have to be one step ahead of the disease at all times. When you see a new symptom, it should be a warning.

SusanB-dil · September 18

@kateyc - here is the DBAT that was mentioned:

https://us.v-cdn.net/6037576/uploads/B0XGDF5TALMA/dbat-287-29-281-29.pdf

kateyc · September 18

I appreciate these responses. We definitely use air tags and they have been great. I had not thought they would be helpful because my mom doesn't wear it on her walks but the more I think about it, I think I can make it work.

Yes, she definitely does not drive.

And yes, absolutely need to one step ahead.

the in between stages

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