How early should spouse assume all driving or financial matters?

My DH drives his same route to a walk at back bay and then to coffee almost every morning. I make a point of riding with him every weekend to various places nearby and so far he’s a safe driver on routine routes. And his financial management entails buying coffee and a cookie every morning and paying for his prescriptions at Walgreens. He’ll also go down the street for a haircut but gets confused sometimes about the tip. And I’ll find collections of cookies in his trunk, as he’ll buy 2 or 3 extra and squirrel them away there! When I “ we” find them, we’ll gather them up ( last week 5 cookies) and place them in the freezer. It’s a small price to pay for something he clearly enjoys. I think what independence he has left is so very important. He needs the feeling of agency, so I try to give him every opportunity. Which for me is positively exhausting sometimes. So I’m in the “limited “ camp Voyager 1. I give DH as much autonomy as I can and serve as his coach and mentor.

My husband was responsible for our investments. He’s always enjoyed the research, reading the prospectus and had a membership to an investment group that provided advice. He would look at the performance every quarter and rebalance where necessary. Fast forward to this year and there was a sum of money that needed to be allocated in our portfolio. We sat in front of the computer.
crickets. Radio silence. Nothing.
He didn’t even have an interest in researching the stocks. I asked what his investment club recommended and he said he didn’t know.
This is now my role. I probably could have taken it over a year prior but it was definitely time. He has no interest in our accounts. Doesn’t ask how they are doing or what I ended up doing with the investments.
I tell you all this to say keep doing the finances you assumed from your wife. Because without any warning, this loss of interest/lack of focus occurs and it’s better to have it under your purview.

I pulled the car keys last spring. DW had no accidents, is still angry that i won't let her drive. She gets lost in the house. How am I to feel she is safe and that she won't end up who knows where? This was right about the time that her dementia moved from mild to moderate (with delusions, hallucinations, and behavioral issues). That change occurred so abruptly.

The night i pulled the keys, she was in a full delusional state, trying to go somewhere. I had to call 911. Police, EMTs and social worker showed up. Calmed her down without a trip to the hospital. Still wants to go somewhere every night…and now talks about getting a ride on the subway (there are no subways anywhere in my state). She is 74 years old, retired for over 10 years, thinks she has to go to work, or to her moms, or somewhere not here…the house that we've lived in for 30 years.

Her Drivers license renewal just came in the mail yesterday. I will renew it for her for ID purposes, especially since I can do so online. Keys are hidden. Car is about to get sold. We manage with me driving.

I have always done the bulk of finances. She only paid some small bills which she does not do anymore. This was not a problem.

I agree take the win, Future when she can't drive it will be much harder to pull the plug. I dread that day. My Hubby still drives and I ride with him often. He makes frequent alone trips to the store less than a mile, but that's about the only independent drive. When I ride with him, I don't provide directions but watch close to see if he is still safe and knows how to get to less traveled places. Again, he still can. We have agreed when that is not the case he will give up the keys. I still expect that to be a fight, but I have it in writing, not sure that will help either, that he agrees to give up the keys when he can't remember how to get from point A to B.

Finances I handle, I have for some time. I had moved all bills and deposits to on-line and that is a skill that he never really excelled in. He does have a debit card that I can block at any time but for now he does most of the grocery shopping. I dread the day this becomes my job as well.

This sounds exactly like my DH. He has no interest in finances, bills or taxes. Once awhile ago he said he was glad he didn’t have to worry about doing income taxes anymore. It’s been a learning experience for me though, especially the technology involved, such as online payments to the IRS, supporting documentation for tax purposes, etc.

People with dementia have visuo-spatial and executive function difficulties. It's not just about memory. After my husband's 4.5 hour Neuro-Psyche testing, the Psychologist said under no circumstances should he be driving. She said that once dementia is in his medical records, if he were to be in an accident, even if it wasn't his fault, our insurance could refuse to pay and we could be sued and lose everything. The question is are you willing to risk that your loved one hurts or kills someone because you wanted to allow them their independence? I explained what the Psychologist said and the next day my DH gave me his keys and never drove after that. I told him I would then be his personal chauffeur.