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CROR · September 22

Hi there, I’m new here. My husband, who’s 64, seems to be heading down the path of Alzheimer’s, which is hereditary in his family. He’s seen a doctor and had scans that confirmed there’s something happening. He prefers a natural approach and doesn’t feel the need for medication due to potential side effects.

He’s always been a proponent of diet and exercise, and he’s followed the neurologist Dr. Dale Bredensen’s approach. I support him wholeheartedly.

It’s evident to us both that there’s a problem with his repetitive and processing abilities. We’ve discussed it, but he doesn’t really delve into it or make plans or arrangements while he’s still cognitively intact. I think that’s a bit of denial on his part. I’m cautious about discussing it too much or pointing out his issues, fearing that it might make him reclusive and insecure about being around others.

As bad as this sounds, if he takes medication, will it just prolong this state of affairs for another 10-15 years? I’d like to get him into a neurologist, but I’m not sure what they can do.

I’m feeling quite anxious myself, knowing that time is of the essence. I need to get things set up so that he understands how to use them when he starts to decline. I’m not looking for sympathy or playing the victim card, but when i speak of it i can’t help it sound that way.

RMremdler · September 22

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/77181/new-to-this

Sorry to meet you under these circumstances but this site is a wealth of information and encouragement.
My husband is 68 and recently received the diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment. We are in the midst of awaiting further testing to determine what is causing the impairment. Is it just due to aging or is there an underlying cause from one of the dementias. We both know something is off and would like to understand the why, but we may not find that out.
Depending on what it is, if there are meds that can delay or slow down the progression of symptoms, we would consider possibly depending on the side effects. I don’t think either of us want a medication that alters his personality anymore than what is already occurring.

H1235 · September 22

Welcome. I’m glad you found us. I can’t speak to medicine ( mom has vascular dementia and there is nothing), but since you are new here I will point out a few things just in case you’re not aware. There is just so much in the beginning! First off, do you have all your legal matters in order? You should have a durable power of attorney and someone other than your husband should be appointed yours. This is very important. You said he may have some denial. Many with dementia have anosognosia. This is an inability to recognize their own symptoms or limitations. Their brain is not working right, it’s not denial. Mom accepted her diagnosis, but thought she was in the very very early stages because she could not see her symptoms. She felt no sense of urgency to make decisions while she was still able. Pointing out symptoms or the need to get things done may eventually cause irritation and upset. I would suggest that if there needs to be changes made, you just do it. If he complains that you didn’t include him, just apologize. If you haven’t seen a lawyer yet, make the appointment and tell him you thought it might be good to get it done now, before things get busy with the holiday (or whatever casual excuse you can come up with). You may want to freeze his credit. There are a few here that had loved ones trying to buy a new car just as they were trying to take the keys away. Unless you plan on taking out a loan for something, a credit freeze won’t hurt anything anyway. With anosognosia he may try to do things that are not safe for him. Driving is usually a big one. You can’t count on him to recognize when he is no longer safe. Managing finances is another. You should keep a close eye on everything. It’s so easy for little things to go unnoticed until there is a big problem. So sorry you need to be here. I will attach a few resources that may be helpful. The dbat is what most of us here use to determine a stage.

DBAT.pdf

Anosognosia and Dementia - AgingCare.com.pdf

https://www.creditkarma.com/credit/i/how-to-freeze-credit

https://iona.org/therapeutic-fibs-ok/

Regarding the DPOA. Many financial institutions won’t accept a DPOA and expect a separate form from their office to be filled out. If you have investment accounts in his name (like a 401k) I would contact them and find out what they need. It’s best to have this all squared away before things get worse.

Victoriaredux · September 23

There are drugs for Alzheimer's that have been around for a while , not a cure but a tread water type . The disease is progressively fatal so to date buying time is the best we've got . I can't speak to the new more invasive meds but bought a few higher functioning years off the old standards for a LO best I could tell. Staying "pure" to avoid possibly manageable side effects [ my LO had none] when the disease is marching on didn't make sense to us. Time is all any of us have until our respective end.

In retrospect , like the new car example H1235 gave , a PWD can seem really normal in a lot of the early years but then - no warning they can do something off the wall and physically or financially dangerous. if you don't put up guardrails early something major could happen and you may not be able to recover.

No one wants to be on guard, setting boundaries 24/7 but you can't expect the PWD to perform safely anymore. Their recollections of events can seem odd then very strange as time passes until there is no doubt.

It is very lonely for the caregiver/partner/spouse since you can't share and co-decide anymore after a certain point. But the folks on this Board get it and have advise and/or understanding. Keep reading the posts .

Michele P · September 23

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/77181/new-to-this

Welcome. As others have mentioned, it’s extremely important that your have a consultation with an Elder Law attorney asap to get legal documents in order while your husband can still sign legal documents. Ask about applying for SSDI, and ask for the name of an attorney to handle it. HiPPA forms should be signed with all of his doctors giving you access. You will have to take over all finances. Get the names of all accounts with log ins and passwords. Do the same for bank and brokerage accounts, computer, phone. Buy TILE gps trackers and place on keys, wallet, phone. They track the items and person. Buy the book The 36 Hour Day. It will explain the disease and will help you prepare for what is coming next. Call your local Council for Aging and ask what services are available including adult day care. Call in home care agencies and get information. You will need a plan b in the event you can no longer care for your husband. This involves touring assisted living/memory care facilities and placing him on a wait list with a refundable deposit. Keep notes of all new symptoms and behaviors in a notebook to share privately with his doctor through the portal or a note given to the doctor. Use this notebook to keep notes on information you gather after appointments or phone calls. This is overwhelming. The notebook helps you keep track of it all. Do not mention these new behaviors in front of your husband.
Call your car insurance company and ask if they will cover an accident with his diagnosis. Most won’t leaving you open to getting sued for every thing you own. There are companies that can test his driving to determine if he is safe driving. Testing with a neuropsychologist will give you more information about his condition, what parts of the brain are impaired, and how that impacts his every day functioning. This testing was the most valuable for us. Come back here for help and support.

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