Phones

Pmmommie · September 23

Dad is being overwhelmed with scam phone calls and no matter how hard both his caregivers and I try, we can only block so many numbers and interfere with so many calls. His donating to these "charities" is getting out of hand. I've been working with the bank to try and keep these charges to a minimum without actually cancelling his card and causing him to spin out of control not having his checkbook to write out his "bills" (donations to these "charities"). Dad has always been a very generous donator in years past and was recognized by local hospitals and organizations so, I don't want him completely cur off.

In addition, the one woman that is trying to stay in his life but, is not welcome, has been calling him from various numbers. I have involved his attorney to call for a no contact. She has used every walk around possible and is causing Dad great distress. But, I digress.

Is there a phone for Dad that limits calls in and cuts out unwanted calls? One that doesn't allow him to call back solicitors or scammers (as he often does repeatedly)? I tried switching him to a flip phone and put it in Kid's mode but, that aggravated him and the calls are worse than ever. He's on both the State's and Federal DNC registry with a private number. I've even thought about going back to his smart phone because at least that had extra security with both a scam shield and robo call stopper with control over his contacts list and no receiving unknown number calls.

Ideas????

I can't wait until his name is called from the waiting list for his approved MC facility. Bye Bye phone!

SusanB-dil · September 23

You need to disappear the phone asap. Does it have a physical sim-card? you could remove it. Or at least disable it in some manner. Tell him you'll have to 'get that checked out tomorrow'. Yes, you could get a phone that you program to only have trusted phone numbers be inbound and outbound. You could remove it completely and 'help' look for it.

Hope one of these ideas will work for you. MIL would get agitated at the phone 'not working', but we had to take care of her phone as well.

As for that woman, I hope you get a restraining order. Some people can be so aggravating! If you get to remove dad's phone, maybe someone else could answer her calls and read her the riot act.

Sorry you are dealing with 'this'.

H1235 · September 23

I remember seeing this post and thought it might be helpful.

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/76983/iphone-assistive-access-enables-simple-phone-use

caregiving daughter · September 23

Could you swap his credit cards with a prepaid card—$150 tops. Once he reaches the prepaid amount, he will be done. He may be frustrated when the cause says his card is rejecting but you could be very kind to him by saying you'll look into it. Perhaps he may lose interest since your research may take some time.

ARIL · September 23

@H1235 Thanks for sharing that post. Super helpful.

jen ht · September 23

Dad also paid these "bills" abundantly.

A friend let me know that I could set up his iPhone so that the only calls that could go thru had to be previously saved in his contacts.

It helped, but he missed several health related calls that can come from various numbers. So not without issue, but helpful.

I see you are awaiting a call from MC waiting list for him. Yes, I agree w you that will be a time to make the phone go away.

Wishing you well,

jht

Victoriaredux · September 24

As your Dad's DPOA you are responsible for protecting his money. "Dad has always been a very generous donator in years past and was recognized by local hospitals and organizations so, I don't want him completely cu(t)r off." Leaving him open to phone scammers and spending money on donations when he is at MC stage and can't be rational about charity spending is very risky.

If someone hits him for a large amount - you'd have trouble getting a judge to recover from them- they'd probably look to you to make things square for Dad since you have that responsibility.

A professional fiduciary told me when they take on a new client they shut down everything and move to new banks, new brokerage accounts etc. That way the PWD can't get to the accounts , any old checks that appear - and you'd be surprised at people who squirrel away checks to deposit when they think they are safe to get it cleared- won't work . And with that woman hanging around - changing the current accounts, that she may know about would be prudent.

You're being very reactive to your Dad's moods and wishes . That nice when it's pillows or meals but money is money. You don't want to get in court one day have to say- yeah Dad got scammed but I didn't stop it.

April23 · September 24

I know this is hard but I 100% agree with the PP. If scammers and others are getting through on the phone, then the phone has to go, period. He should not have access to his finances either. I’ve heard many stories in my in-person group of PWD causing near financial ruin. The reality is both the phone and the bank card need to go and soon.

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