My DW resists me changing her soiled Depends

This is one of the main reasons why my wife is in a memory care now. Most of the time, I could not change her without a fight. It was not so much removing the diaper, although that was still difficult at times, it was the cleanup afterwards, especially if she had pooped.

At the memory center, she still puts up a fight with the caretakers to change her diaper. There is, however, one caretaker that can usually change her easily much of the time.

At the memory center I found it's definitely a two-person job to change the diapers of somebody that does not want them chain. One person stands in front of the person and hold her hands. The other one gets behind her and does the actual change in.

We are working on final steps getting MIL into memory care. And yes, we are experiencing the same. One thing we have found to be helpful is that first thing in the morning… 'Change your underwear and then we can get breakfast'. So, basically, some bribery.

Getting MIL to change her adult underwear through the day is also a challenge. Sometimes she still goes on her own, but when she doesn't, again with bribery. Change your underwear and we can have a cookie, or lunch, depending on time, of course. And we purposely say 'we', so it doesn't sound like it is quite a bribe, but rather that it is just a matter of fact 'time to change' but also 'time for something else, for all of us'.

Have you tried the depends that open on the side instead of the regular pull up kind? Maybe that would be easier than taking shoes/pants off if she is resisting.