2nd post for mother-need input

drewbaby · September 26

I love this panel to ask for help and guidance. I moved my mother into the assisted living facility where im the director of dietary. She was having tooth issues and recently got it fixed. She still says it hurts every morning but once she is up and moving about for the day, the pain goes away. Family feels the pains not there, she is fixated on it. I have been given advice to "ignore" calls and texts when she complains of pain. She won't come. Out of her room with the pain for meals or activities and her being in her rokm is not good for her. She has early onset alzheimers. Its very hard to ignore a parent. But how does someone handle this situation. Please advise and thanks in advance

fesk · September 26

I'm not a fan of ignoring calls and texts. Is she not going out of her room at all or just in the morning? She very well may still be having pain. Can she have Tylenol? If so, maybe let her have that in the mornings. Can you or someone stay with her for breakfast even if in her room to see how she is reacting when eating? I think you may be able to quickly see if there is an issue when observing. Sensitivity to a tooth issue can last a while.

dcare45 · September 26

I wouldn't just ignore it. I wouldn't go running at every call or text either. Probably observe her eating and throughout the day to see if she has issues eating or touching her face a lot, that type of thing. My DW will say she hurts or OW alot however when I ask her what hurts she has no clue of what I am talking about. Observation is my only option. Nothing is easy in this. Glad you're here on the site and sorry you have a reason to be. Keep us posted so we can learn also.

ARIL · September 27

Have you tried taking her to her dentist? If there’s pain related to the tooth issue, the dentist should be able to find and treat it. And if this is somehow not real, the dentist should be able to determine that too.

My LOWD has never complained of nonexistent pain, so I do have a bias toward assuming that all complaints of pain are real. I am more concerned about pain he does not mention—which has happened.

H1235 · September 27

Maybe whatever was fixed, wasn’t fixed as well as the dentist thought. I would take her to the dentist, just to make sure there is nothing going on. If they can’t find anything, could you just tell her they have added medication for the pain to her morning pills. If she continues to complain maybe try some actual Tylenol. Is it possible this tooth pain is an excuse to allow her to stay in her room? It is so hard to know what is really going on with dementia.

MN Chickadee · September 27

Can you give her an extra strength tylenol in the mornings for a week and see if she stops complaining about it afterwards? If so it would suggest there is real pain there. It can be hard to know what to do with pain and dementia. There have been posts here over the years of phantom pain - PWD with pain that simply can't be explained or fixed. My mother talked about weird "chest pain" for a while. After numerous trips to the emergency room, regular doctor, tests, every work up you can imagine we decided it must be the wires in her brain getting crossed or something. We started giving her a placebo when it happened. Half an aspirin and a Tums. She was satisfied with this and it seemed to "work." After a while whatever it was went away. But I would be darn sure there isn't real pain there. Has the doctor and dentist done a thorough exam?

Maru · September 27

Also not a fan of ignoring pain or any other symptoms. My DH had an overall itch reaction to Memantine. We weaned him off and at the same time the Dr prescribed an antihistamine. What I observed and what DH said were two different things. Once he was off the Memantine, he stopped scratching but he still complained about it for months. Dr said it was alright to leave him on the antihistamine and after several months he forgot about the itching. My point: there is pain and there is fixation. If everything checks out okay, try a placebo.

2nd post for mother-need input

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