Grief counseling for folks with dementia

PsychedelicBirdhouse · August 13

I’m mom’s caregiver. Dad died in June and he was her caregiver until he got sick in Feb. Mom had one grief counseling session and wants more. The hospice facility dad was with offers 3 free sessions. I want mom to have more. They don’t do private pay. We have another session coming up in a couple of weeks, but Mom is in initiating wanting to go to talk to someone. I think it would benefit her to go more frequently than waiting 3 to 4 weeks and only having two sessions left. Can anyone recommend Greif counselors in Massachusetts, preferably the North Shore that specialize in working with people with dementia. I need to capitalize on this window of time where her cognitive functioning is still great enough to have one-to-one sessions with a counselor, or if there is a group counseling session that meets in person that works with folks with dementia I would be willing to try that too. Thoughts? Virtual is not a possibility, she does not attend well to things on the computer unless it’s funny cat videos.

Damiross · August 13

Check your local churches. Some have counselors.

harshedbuzz · August 14

@PsychedelicBirdhouse

Counseling tends to be of very limited use for most PWD given the combination of anosognosia, poor executive function and short-term memory (need to learn new things) issues, so finding someone with this skill set is going to be a serious challenge.

Damiross's suggestion is the one I would make. Many parishes and congregations have grief support as part of their programming either through pastoral counselors or group meetings. I've seen hospitals sponsor such groups; their pastoral care office would likely know of these if they exist.

Griefshare is a group with chapters across the country. I entered Salem for the search.

https://find.griefshare.org/find?audience=&center=%2842.521444%2C-70.895674%29&city=Salem&country=United%20States&dateRange=0&day=&distance=25&language=&locationType=&postalCode=&query=Salem%2C%20Massachusetts%2C%20United%20States&region=Massachusetts&searchType=find&sortBy=&type=

One caveat I would have is for you to vet the group first. These groups, even when under a larger organization can have very different vibes; you might need to try a couple to find a fit. When mom went to a few bereaved parent meetings, some were just a terrible fit for her— too "spiritual" (like seances), too focused on a specific religious doctrine while ignoring more practical care of the bereaved left behind or there was a dynamic where some parent survivors had a more worthy loss (young kid with cancer vs a teen how died from an overdose).

PsychedelicBirdhouse · September 29

Thanks for both of your replies. Definitely looking for something not religious. The 1:1 situation worked well and she bonded with the counselor. I know of other folks who have had 1 year of bereavement counseling. It's a shame they can't take us on for private pay. Stinks starting over. I may have to nix this whole idea and find an art therapist who deals with grief.

H1235 · September 29

You might ask the funeral home that did your dad’s services. Her pcp could probably recommend a counselor. I don’t know about a specific grief counselor. You might also try your local hospital to see if they offer anything. I have mixed feelings on counseling for a person with dementia. I question if they will remember to try any of the coping skills or even remember what they are. Mom saw a counselor for a while and I think she enjoyed having someone she can talk to (mainly to complain about how awful I was treating her, taking all her independence away), but I also found it stirred up a lot of sore feelings for her. But every person with dementia is different. I’m glad it’s helping your mom. I hope you can find something that will work.

Grief counseling for folks with dementia

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