Gotta see the humor
Humorous things happen with dementia patients like over twenty years ago when my mother was diagnosed with dementia and we were at a second visit with her psychiatrist and she asked me the date and wrote it on a tissue she’d wrapped around her finger in case the doctor asked her what day it was and then another time she asked me if it would be possible to trick a family member she knew needed help into coming to see the psychiatrist. Now all these years later I’m not laughing at my DH just laughing with him. We usually use electric toothbrushes at home but recently traveled and switched to manual ones and as we got ready to brush he said his wouldn’t turn on as he pressed his thumb where the power button would be - we both got a really good laugh. I pray for patience and compassion and I thank God daily for the ability to care for and about my DH’s feelings as he is struggling with what he’s going through. I have to be sensitive to slight changes in his mood and to my reactions to things that happen because it’s easy for me to react strongly and hurt his feelings.
Comments
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It's not often but there are humorous times with dementia patients.
My wife talks with another man at the memory center. He is talking about X; she is talking about Y. But, to them, it is a great conversation even though they are talking about 2 different things.
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My Mom is an an avid reader. She probably goes through a book about every 2 weeks or so. I recently bought her a book for her birthday by a different author than the books she usually reads. I asked her if she liked it and she very enthusiastically said that she did. I asked her what it was about and she looked at me like I had absolutely lost my mind before telling me that she didn’t know. It was the look that got me more than the response itself. Made us both laugh.
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And then there’s the sad times like when there’s no family restroom and my DH has to go into the men’s room by himself and there’s no other men going on or coming out and I hear knocking noises and I realize he cannot find the door to exit the restroom.
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If there is no family restroom I would have no issue taking my wife into the men's room or following my wife into the lady's room. There is plenty of room in the handicapped stall in either restroom.
I would announce myself going into the lady's room or let men know that I am bringing a woman in.
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I may have to do that.
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My favorite story about my wife is one I've shared many times because it always makes me laugh.
her - I can't find him
me - who can't you find
her - your husband
me - my husband?
her - yes, your husband
me - I'm not gay
her - you're not?
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My mil was absolutely furious that her sister in-law didn’t call her to tell her she had passed away. Yes, she was mad at the person who had passed because they didn’t tell her they had passed.
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This thread brightens up my day. I hope people will keep posting those humorous moments.
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Yesterday, i opened the microwave to discover DH's coffee cup inside, washed and placed upside down. A ibt of humor to start off my day.
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We were watching TV and I came walking back into the room when a commercial's music started playing. I did a couple little dance moves and said HEY BABY I’M DANCING FOR YOU.
DW with a huge eye roll and a small shake of her head says “ no, you’re not”
I thought it was funny but I’m afraid she was serious.
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My wife mainly wears socks only. One day, she had taken off one of her socks. She often does this. I could not find her sock. When she had her clothes changed, there was the sock inside her pants.
Another sock episode involved a popcorn bag. After she had eaten her popcorn, she folded and stuck the empty bag into her sock.
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My DH has been tearing up napkins and paper towels into small squares and shoves them in his pockets then piles them on his bedside table. He currently has two piles a foot wide and a foot high and as far as I can tell the piles keep growing. Instead of using them my DH takes napkins even at a restaurant and immediately tears them up and folds them and is reluctant to throw them away unless they’re obviously dirty or I can throw them away when I can.
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Thank you for your comment. I’m able to care for him so far and I pray that I stay healthy enough to keep taking care of him. It’s hard for me to leave him in someone else’s care even for a few hours because I know his specific needs and I know how easy it is to think he can maneuver a curb or an incline a small bump or even a shadow to walk across without help and how easy it is for him to fall when he can’t see right or sees it through the disease? He needs help putting his clothes on properly and heating coffee in the microwave and many other things and whoever helps him if I’m not around needs to be patient and not a bit irritated or nervous because my DH will withdraw and be sad or upset because he thinks he’s done something wrong. For instance if DH spills his coffee and I get up quickly to get clean up stuff he thinks I’m upset Or if he needs to urgently get to the restroom and I do too or he needs help getting up and my knees or back make me slow to stand and walk or bend down to help put on or take off his shoes or slacks; it takes a lot of whatever it takes to take care of him and me too - although it’s almost humorous that we’re both in that condition at the same time.
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This almost humorous event happens often but thank the Lord not every time — he needs to urgently get to the restroom and I do too or he needs help getting up and my knees or back make me slow to stand and walk or bend down to help put on or take off his shoes or slacks; it takes a lot of whatever it takes to take care of him and me too - it makes me laugh at the reminder that we’re both in aged condition at the same time, and we need to be patient with ourselves and our loved one because if we each had a choice to be decrepit or run a marathon — we’d choose??
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My DH and I used to pick up my FiL from his memory care unit and take him out to dinner once a week. We would return to the care home and hear something rattling as he walked, only to find he had put the silverware from the restaurant in his pocket. At least he had wiped them clean before taking them. :)
After a couple times of this happening, we learned to check his pockets before leaving the restaurant.
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You gotta love the way they do the cutest things like that. My DH this evening was really tired and ready for bed so he got up from the chair slowly stood still for a bit to straighten up to walk and started walking really slow and slightly bent forward - then he started using his arms in a breaststroke movement as if swimming 😊 he’s not lost his sense of humor.
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One of the residents at my wife's memory center is always reading what is on the television. She (I'll call her AD) doesn't let not knowing a word stop her. If AD cannot pronounce it, she reads each letter in the word then continues with the next word.
The other day there was a talent show on the television. A lady was on a tall unicycle catching bowls with her feet then tossing them to her head. AD looked the unicyclist and said "That's stupid. I wouldn't do to!"
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I’ve told this before but still chuckle when I think of it: when we got to daughters house last year for thanksgiving dinner, I looked down at DH feet and saw he had black shoes on, but they were both left foot shoes !!! Daughter and I had a laugh over that!
Then the next day at the grocery store I noticed he had his shoes on the correct feet, but they were from different pairs of shoes!
So after that I make sure he’s properly dressed before we go out- even to the point of checking for underwear cuz he tries to go commando sometimes !!5 -
My father wanted to talk to a woman he had known at IL but he couldn’t remember her name. His friends contacted staff at the IL and they knew exactly who he was talking about. The staff said they would ask the woman if she wanted to speak to him on the phone. She said no because she couldn’t remember him.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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