Super sensitive and intolerant of noisy environments

Dusty217 · October 6

My Hubbys personality is changing. When we go to a party, he can no longer tolerate all the noise and activities. He gets "lost" easily and ends up just sitting alone. I know or feel this is due to his brain not sorting out all the input. He then complains all the way home that he is ignored. If someone says something nice to him or about him complains they had more to say to or about others. It's a constant need to sooth his feeling but seems to be my job. Recently we were part of a community play, and he had a small part. With much work he learned his few lines and did well. At the after party when the director commented on everyone and how they did he felt she should have said much more about him. She gave him equal praise, but he seemed to feel diminished. None of this is the man I married but guessing it's the future. II feel blessed however that he was able to do the part as it is one of his past loves. I'm thinking this will likely be the last.

trottingalong · October 6

As progression increases, different stimuli can cause confusion and disorientation. It does reach the point where you just can’t take your husband to these types of functions or have him involved. I’m sorry, it’s difficult.

H1235 · October 6

What you are describing sounds pretty normal for dementia. My mom startles very easily and doesn’t like loud noises. She is also sometimes confused about where the noise came from. She gets confused trying to follow a conversation if even 4-5 people are talking together. She says it’s just going too fast for her to keep up. Mom also has a lack of empathy and is very demanding. A person with dementia can become so wrapped up in their own feelings and needs that they struggle to understand another persons perspective. They become a bit selfish/self centered. I’m so glad your husband was able to participate in a community play. Sadly I would expect the symptoms you are describing to continue to get worse.

blacksparky · October 6

This is also how my DW acts when there are more than a couple people. Her family came to visit one day and there was about 7 people. She just sat there and stared without saying a word. I had to deal with her anxiety for two hours after they left. I had to tell her family that she enjoyed the visits but going forward I told them no more than 2 people per visit.

harshedbuzz · October 6

@Dusty217

We went through similar with dad as his dementia progressed. Early on, he was fine with social gatherings so long as they were focused on him— a party for his 80th birthday was a success. Dinner for his and mom's anniversary 2 months later was doable. Mom's birthday 5 months later was going fine until someone reminded him it was "mom's day".

By the middle stages, he could no longer easily process multiparty conversations making get-together a lot less fun for him. He also had a tendency to repeat himself, go off-topic or offer a socially inappropriate opinion which made it not-so-fun for everyone else. His world got really small which was hard to accept in a man who'd formerly been life-of-the-party.

We (my parents, DH, my adult DS and my adult niece & nephew-in-law) still did holidays for my mom's mental health, but dad would generally leave the room and sulk because mom was enjoying others instead of paying attention to him. He was so patently rude at his last Christmas it was hard not to laugh.

HB

SSHarkey · October 7

I experienced this with my DH fairly early in the disease process. Loud restaurants caused him to pull away. Once he got up and left, and went outside. I found him crying on a bench. That’s when I realized how easily he could get overwhelmed. I have been much more alert to his emotional state any time we’re in public.

Dusty217 · October 7

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/283767#Comment_283767

yes I agree

Dusty217 · October 7

Thank you. I do think what you said about your Mom is much of what I am seeing.

Dusty217 · October 7

Thank you. Early in this road and I see more and more issues with large groups, and they don't need to be super large. I think less is more in the future. My Grandson, no his, is getting married next year, that may be a bit hard for him and I may need to give it some hard thought.

Super sensitive and intolerant of noisy environments

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