Advise on Clothing Purchases

I took mom to get some new pajamas. I had to steer her away from a black lace, silk nighty. Another time she bought tye dyed tennis shoes. When left on her own in the store with my brother she bought a black underwire push-up bra. When I took her she shopping for a bra she was frustrated she couldn’t find what she wanted. She was looking for a playtex cross your heart bra from the 70’s and didn’t want to spend more than $15 on one. I actually found one on Amazon. When she couldn’t find what she was looking for she expected me to come back and bring her to a different store the next day (she was exhausted). Another time she insisted on buying something 3 sizes too big that was on clearance and said she would just take it in (she has always sewed). At this point I finally gave up. I have a pretty good idea of what she likes to wear. She sometimes get mad that I won’t take her shopping. I have to insist she try things on when I bring them, because otherwise she would never do it. Even then, she will sometimes tell me she likes something then tells me the next visit she will never wear the pants because they don’t have pockets. If something doesn’t fit I usually get an eye roll and a “wouldn’t this just be easier if you took me to the store” (NO!). I measure things I know fit her and bring a tape measure to the store. I don’t go by sizes. Speaking of sizes, she usually wears a xL, but thinks she is an L. She gets disgusted with me when she sees the XL, but usually accepts it when it fits (probably runs small). Everyone with dementia is different. You might try a short trip and see how it goes. Maybe come up with an excuse in advance for not buying something kind of crazy. I forgot the credit card…. It sounds like you are being a good daughter. There is no “right” way to do things. You just do the best you can. You adjust as you go and try to learn from your mistakes.

DH here is still at home. He won't go shopping and wants to wear the same faded, stained, or torn garments. I've had luck with buying things and not telling him they are new. I just put them in the closet when he isn't looking. After a few days there he wears them. The old items I disappear when he isn't looking. He never notices.

When MIL was in memory care, I shopped the nicer thrift stores near here. The facility did her laundry and things wore out fairly quickly. Whatever I brought I left with reception and they'd name tag it. It would get put in her closet when they returned laundry. The out of season items were folded up and left n a bag at the bottom.of the back of the closet..

I love that she bought tie dyed tennis shoes. Everyone needs a little whimsy in their life.