45th Wedding anniversary

On Saturday April 10th we will be married 45 years. I was 19 and DH was 21 when we were married. So now I am 64 and he is 66. I plan on spending as much of the day with him as I can. He is in early stage 7. He doesn't walk, talk or help with any ADL's. I was hoping to have a picnic with him outside of the MC facility. It may not be warm enough for him as he gets easily chilled. In that case, I will have a picnic in his room and feed him.  It has been weighing heavy on me. It is not the way I have ever thought I would spend any anniversaries. I know so many are in the same boat. His siblings have always been very good about sending cards out. I asked them not too because it is just too hard for me. They said they will respect my wishes.    Recently there have been several people that I have gotten to know a little from the MC facility that have passed away. It is sad but a different kind of sad. Some days I feel so trapped and like this will never end and yet I don't ever want to say good-bye to DH.

Alz connected has helped me not to feel so alone. I feel the need to be in a In-person group but I can't find any yet. Thank you to all.