My DH thinks there are four of me living in our home.

You have described my husband perfectly. David has been having memory issues starting around 2017. I attributed it to the fact we had built a new home in NC and he was under stress caring for two homes. By 2019, I could not ignore the signs that something was wrong any longer and had him evaluated by a neurologist. The MRI of the brain and lab work were unremarkable and they diagnosed him with memory impairment and visual- spatial impairment. In 2020, he continued to get progressively worse unable to do simple things like write a check, balance his checkbook, operate the tv remote or his phone. He finally gave up driving after a few near misses. He slowly loss interest in the things he enjoyed like golf and reading. Then in January of this year he began forgetting who I was and thinks there are several women saying they are me. He also asks where the people went who were here this morning. Of course it’s just the two of us living in our home, He also is very confused around our home not knowing where the bedroom , kitchen, laundry etc are. So far, he is able to take care of his personal needs but needs supervision with practically every aspect of his life. My husband is on Donepezil and Memantine and quite frankly, I don’t think they have been of any benefit to him. I am not optimistic that the imposter syndrome can be reversed. I try to take it in stride one day at a time. He is still very loving and gentle and for that I am grateful. There is still alot of the man I married 30 years ago in him but I know I’m losing him little by little. But the hardest piece has been forgetting who I am. I think I can bear everything else but that. Good luck to you and keep the faith.

Poulsbo, I wrote a long answer to you on another (wrong) thread. My mistake and apologies to all affected.

But yes, thinking there is more of you, not recognizing you, or thinking there are others in the house, etc., is fairly common in dementias. Alzheimer’s is a type of dementia. There are several types of dementia, Alzheimer’s is one type. It’s like “Apple” is to “fruit.”

There is so much to unpack here, and I see you are new. I highly, strongly recommend you Google an article called “Understanding the Dementia Experience” by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller. It’s about 25 pages, but great, easy to understand information. Free. You can print it or read online. It’s the best thing I’ve read on the subject.

There is no cure. There are some prescription meds that may  help some patients slow down the symptoms; many say the meds didn’t matter. If he becomes overly anxious or aggressive, there are meds that can help with that kind of behavior, and with hallucinations. 

You’ve already seen the lost abilities of math and driving. Make sure you have control of finances.  They usually lose the ability to handle money and/ or fall for scams. People here have lost hundreds of thousands because LO with dementia misused money or credit cards and gave it away, bought useless stuff, or got scammed.

The doctors were no help when my DH was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. I remember how I thought the Dx meant doctors could tell me what abilities would be lost, and what bad behaviors would start and when.  They cannot. Everyone is different. Different people lose different abilities at different times, and exhibit different behaviors.

Seeing the scans—which showed inarguable brain loss—helped family realize what we were dealing with. Usually, in my experience, the patients are diagnosed before reaching the point of seeing people who are not there (hallucination) or not recognizing you. Regardless, not much can be done about it except to keep them calm, maybe using meds to help. You can’t reason with them, it’s real to them,

My DH lost ability to use cell phones, remotes, GPS etc. very early. But he can still toilet correctly. Others become incontinent early, but can still use cell phones. It’s just different for everyone.

You can’t reason, explain, or use logic with them. Repeating constantly is useless.  Their brain is broken. They just cannot do it. You have to learn how to deal with their behaviors, sometimes you have to fib to prevent them being upset.

This forum has been the most helpful thing by far in learning how to deal with their behaviors and losses. Real-life support groups too,; it’s not just “touchy-freely, heres a hug” stuff, such groups are a source of  useful needed information.

Welcome, Poulsbo.  I'm sorry you have the need to be here but the people here have more information and been-there-done-that experience than anywhere else. It's such a help knowing the things I and my DH are experiencing are not uncommon.  My DH thinks I bring in other women to be in bed with him and even dress them like me.  I have to laugh later when I think of how nice that is of me!  Since he's been on Memantine he still has delusions and hallucinations but doesn't get as anxious about them as he did.

Hello Poulsbo and a very warm welcome to you.   I am so sorry for what is happening; it is certainly a challenge and must be overwhelming.

For those who are not familiar with Capgras Syndrome, here is a link to an overview and suggestions as how to manage in such situations:

https://healthblog.uofmhealth.org/brain-health/capgras-syndrome-dementia-are-you-a-pretender-or-real-mary

There is another syndrome similar but a bit different called, "Fregoli Syndrome."  In any case, this is very difficult for the caregiver.  Hopefully, the neurologist will be able to assist in prescribing that will make a difference.

I also have to say that I am quite familiar with, "Poulsbo."   A beautiful little town; my husband and I have visited Poulsbo and stayed there multiple times.   The Norwegian influence is everywhere and the view of the "fjord" is lovely and the lutefisk stories abound; "uff da!" We seriously were thinking of moving to Poulsbo, but then our aged parents; both sets, developed dementia and it was not workable.  Lovely, lovely place to be.

 I so hope that you are able to get some workable assistance from the Neurologist; please let us know how you are and how it is going; we truly do care.  Also, the Alzheimer's Assn. has a 24 hour helpline available 365 days a year at (800) 272-3900.  If you call, ask to be transferred to a Care Consultant.   There are no fees for this service. Consultants are highly educated Social Workers who specialize in dementia and family dynamics.  They are very supportive, have much information and can often assist us with our problem solving.  Sometimes we just need to call to speak to someone and vent our feelings; that too is part of the service.

So glad you found this very supportive place; it is a soft place to land and a place where you will be understood; we get it.

With warmest thoughts being sent your way,

J.

My favorite photo of Poulsbo:

https://cityofpoulsbo.com/

So much more; but this I think captures the Poulsbo spirit.

I am sorry about all the moves and of course at the most difficult of time to be suddenly out of your beloved town of choice.   I have two aunts and uncles who moved to follow their adult children several times each; both of them regret having done so, they left close friends, churches, beloved homes in the midwest, and a way of life they fully enjoyed.   Kids kept moving due to work transfers though and that made everything much more difficult and the grandkids all grew up and moved away themselves.  One aunt ended up in Texas and the other in Colorado where their adult kids had moved.  Both aiunts are now widowed and despite being elderly, they have risen to the occasion and are pretty okay in that regard.    They have adapted and made new friends but still will talk about their favorite places that they had left and, "would not do it again.".

Of course, that was also harkenilng back to days when they were younger, healthier, stronger,  their husbands were alive and well, and all was so much easier.   One thing with certainty; life always brings changes and changes and changes . . . .

I so wish you well and once again send warm thoughts your way,

J.