Mom is free.

LicketyGlitz

Mom passed away this evening.

All of us here at Stumped Town Dementia are grateful that you have accompanied us on this journey. We thank you for bolstering our bravery, picking us up when we fell hard and fast, joining us in laughter, commiserating with us in tears.

I have something else to ask of you.

If you would be so kind as to pour yourself a favorite beverage and do these three things:

Send up a "Cheers!" to our mother Gloria, for a life well-lived before and after dementia.

Send up a "Cheers!" to your dementia person or people, whether they are currently giving you one helluva sleepless night or have already passed on to greet my mother in the hereafter.

Send up a "Cheers!" to yourself, for your caregiver successes, your caregiver fails, your caregiver courage, and most of all, for your caregiver heart.

Mom is free. She now sees what you all have done for her daughters. Who knows?

She may just "Cheers!" you right back for that.

 https://www.stumpedtowndementia.com/post/mom-is-free

Quilting brings calm

I’m sorry for your family’s loss. I know you take solace in the fact that your Mom is indeed free. You’ve been grieving for years now and I know you are  exhausted.   Rest, recharge. Take needed time away from this forum.  Come back though and let us know how life is on the other side.

Suziesb

LG,

I was thinking of you tonight.  I am sending you a hug from one daughter to another.  So many emotions.  I was teary reading your post. Your mom can rest. I hope you can too now, knowing you did SO much for her; and you did your best. It will continue to be a journey.

Cheers to your mom. God that made me cry.  Take care dear friend.

Suzie

    

Jane Smith

Oh Lickety,

Please accept my condolences. 

I will raise a glass to your mom, your family, and to all my family members with/who had dementia and their carers and loved ones. 

I also raise my glass to you, for sharing so much with us and for so often giving me a moment where I didn’t feel like a freak from Planet Dementia. 

Many thanks and much love to you all. Keep breathing!!

StayCalm

I am sorry for your families loss.  You have uplifted so many of us through your posts.  God bless you. Hugs.  

And Cheers

Stori

I’m so sorry for your loss.

May you rest and recover.

Holding Space,

Stori

star26

{{{{Lickety Glitz}}}}  Cheers! to Gloria and big Cheers! to you. I’m so sorry about the loss of your Mom. 

What a journey. Thank you so much for sharing it with so much honesty, wisdom, and spirit. Your writing has been such a big help to me and I feel like I got to know your Mom a bit, including the fun and spirited lady she was before dementia. Although your posts ranged from lighthearted and delightful adventures to the lowest lows, the love you two shared was present and obvious in every moment. I still love that banana phone joke and the “look” and fake punch she gave you. And the precious pictures of her putting a comforting motherly hand on you.  And you putting her pills in raspberries every morning. And the haircuts and cute hats… there was so much goodness. You gave her as much life as she could possibly get right up until the very end. And that says a lot not just about you, but about her too. 

I’m thinking of you and sending virtual hugs and understanding as you navigate this loss and life change. 

RobOT

Cheers to Gloria, and cheers to you too, Lickety.  Cheers to all the caregvers and their charges, and cheers to freedom.  Here's to the love you and your mother and family have shown each other, and the sense of humor that got you (and a lot of others) through.  I'm holding you in my heart, and if I find any extra strength around here I'll beam it over to you.  Take good care of you and yours.

BassetHoundAnn

Oh Lickety, I'm so sorry. 

Nothing is going to make the coming days easier, but know that my heart and prayers are with you and your mother. And somewhere I know she's looking out for her amazing, lovable, irrepressible daughter. Now she's the one who's got your back. 

Thank you for sharing all that you and your mother have been through. It's made a difference in my life and that of my own mother. It's such a long hard journey, but it's felt easier and lighter thanks to your amazing posts, your wisdom, your insights, your humor, your stories. 

As I write this I'm lifting a toast to you and your mother, and to caregivers everywhere, with what my friends have dubbed my "personal theme beer," Bitter Woman IPA. 

The other night I found my own LO in the kitchen. She had found one of my last bottles of the precious, for-emergencies-only brew tucked in the back of the refrigerator. (According to the label, "brewed to be like our Aunt Cal, very fruity and intensely bitter."  https://tyranena.com/bitter-woman-ipa/) She was brutally whacking it against the counter. When I asked what she was doing she said between whacks "trying to open this @3&!# bottle!" I pointed out the bottle opener inches from her on the refrigerator door. She stared at it uncomprehending and resumed whacking. 

I opened the bottle, poured a small amount into a wine glass for her, and she shuffled off slowly to the livingroom with her precious glass and her own bitterness. I offered to turn on the lights but she huffed "I prefer to drink alone in the dark!"

The day before we were at the doctor when she said "I like to stay at my daughter's because she gives me wine to drink all day!" I was gasping and choking as the doctor was side-eyeing me. The reality is that I dump juice boxes into wine glasses and as she chugs them down she coos "This is wonderful wine! Just wonderful!" I tell her honestly "Ma, it's not wine, it's Welch's" but she never believes me. "You buy me such good wine! I've never tasted wine this good!" she keeps cooing, drinking. Last summer she ended up in the hospital because she collapsed from dehydration. The wine ruse is the only thing that keeps her drinking fluids. 

It's amazing what we do, isn't it? It's amazing what we go through. Who would believe it? 

Thank you, Lickety...for everything! Big hugs to you!  Raising my glass in toast... 

GothicGremlin

I'm so sorry, Lickety.

Raising a glass with all three of your toasts in mine, but mostly in honor of you and your mom. 

M1

Since it's 4 am I will wait for a more decent hour, but tonight I will sing my Auld Lang Syne for Gloria.

harshedbuzz

Please accept my condolences on the passing of your dear mom Gloria. 

Thank you for sharing your mom and your journey with us. I shall toast you both (and your team) tonight with a decent Oregon Pinot Noir. Wishing you peace as you find your way forward.

HB

Battlebuddy

Lickity I will be glad to send up the three cheers you recommend. I’m so glad your mom is free. I’m here shedding a tear for your mom and your loss.  thank you for your posts and your humor. Thank you for modeling for us that it’s ok to be human and a caregiver. Thanks for letting us see a real caregiver walk with all it’s triumphs and tragedies , humor and tears.   We are with you in Spirit as you move to Stage 8 .

MPSunshine

May I join with others in offering you and your family condolences as you process your grief? Your memorial day for your dear mom is the same as our family memorial day for my dear MIL -- they were both feisty ladies and I like to think that they can converse freely now. Take solace in knowing that you did your best and you were a good daughter.

Mint

I’m so sorry for your loss.

abc123

Gloria, this ones for you my dear! Boo!

Doityourselfer

I'm sorry for your loss.

wyoming daughter

Cheers, Cheers, and Cheers!

zauberflote

Lickety, I was thinking of you, all of you, last night in my prayers. I am sorry. But I'm not, you know? You and Gloria gave each other your lives, and she will live on in you. Cheers, cheers, and cheers! 

And you know, she's probably working on that pony for you. 

mommyandme (m&m)

Oh Mother... you have loved so much. Thank you for sharing! My heart cries for you.

Sending you all CHEERS!

Deanna_M

Dear Lickety, I am so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you, your family, and your dear mom this evening over a glass of wine. Cheers to all.

ladyzetta

((((Lickety))))

I am so sorry for your loss but as you say Mom is free. Thank You for sharing your Mom with us she taught me a lot. You and yours did a outstanding job caring for your Mom and I am sure she felt all the love. She was blessed to have all of you. This evening I will be toasting your Mom. 

Sending Love Your Way. Zetta  

jfkoc

Done. I was out of gin so substituted diet root beer.

My condolences sent along with thanks for all you have done for me.

SunnyBeBe

I just saw your news.  I will certainly say Cheers when I give a toast this evening to your mother.  I'm glad she is free, but know this is still painful for you and the family.  Please accept my condolences too.

Birdies

 Hi Lickety,

There are no words... especially coming from a friend who hasn’t lost a parent yet... you are my “how to do dementia” manual and I don’t think you’ve figured out this step yet.  Just know that I’m thinking of you and grateful that you’ve shared so much of your journey with all of your “online friends”.  

I hope you can catch a breath, smile and sleep in.  Big hugs to you.

And a toast to Gloria (at 5:30!)

Gloria (Gloria), I think they got your number........ ✨  

mrl

Dear Glitz,

My heart goes out to you and all your wonderful cast of characters. She is much loved by a

beautiful family like yours.

Gloria... Cheers!!

Many prayers coming your way.

Michele

Luv Power

Lickety ~ 

Words are inadequate at this time, but I am so sorry for your loss.  Thank you for the honesty, humor, education and openness that you, your family and the other valued members of Gloria's Team openly shared with the rest of us.  Cheers to you and Gloria's Valued Team for a job well done and another cheers to Gloria for a life well lived.

Diane

LicketyGlitz

Wow, star, I am so touched by your remembrances. Thank you for telling me.

LicketyGlitz

Before I answer all of you individually I have to say that I thought it nice if ppl raised a glass to Mom, their dementia LOs, and themselves for traversing this road. But I have to tell you, the fact that so many of you have done this has been a healing boost that I did not anticipate. We need to do this for all of our dementia folks - I think the hereafter just got a dose of how amazing our dementia people are. And all the car accidents, cancer patients, heart attacks are now saying "Hey, these dementia kids must be something special. No one "Cheers!" us when we died!

I am so grateful for this. I had no idea it would affect me so. I read the post last night in tears, thankful for our shared sorrow. Today I woke up happy for Mom, that she was free, and read the post with laughter and joy,

Thanks to all of you.

LicketyGlitz

Quilting, I've become addicted to writing through this journey. I'm just figure the after-dementia life out, but I suspect you guys aren't quite rid of me yet!

LicketyGlitz

Oh, Suzie, thank you. From one daughter to another I hope you and your dementia loved one are also grateful when they are free. Sad, and yet grateful.