If you have legal knowledge, I'm begging will you please answer a question for me
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What an awful situation! It sounds like your mom put you and your brother's name on the deed to the property specifying that when she passes the property goes to you. But you need to make sure that was done properly and check exactly how it was done. So you will need to speak to a local attorney and ask the attorney to check the deed.
The boyfriend has no right to evict you because your mom owns the property.
Years ago an aunt filed suit against her in-laws because she was taking care of a grandmother and aunt who had alzheimer's and cancer at their home. She claimed she was due compensation in the form of the family property in exchange for having cared for them. It was ultimately settled out of court, but these situations can get legally sticky.
Maybe there's a free or low-cost legal service in your area that can provide a brief consultation? If you or your brother is a vet the V.A. offers free legal help and a friend tells me it's very good. But you and your brother definitely do need to consult an attorney.
You should also check to make sure your mom has a will, and that you have durable power-of-attorney and activated medical power-of-attorney.
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Victoria makes excellent points. The boyfriend may be capable of getting your mom to sign things she didn't intend and undoing her estate planning. He might even transfer her assets and property into his own name. You and your brother do need to consult with an attorney, preferably one who specializes in eldercare law. Good ones have seen it all. And the laws differ so much from one state to the next that you do need to consult with a local attorney.0
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Please see an attorney as soon as possible. Victoria2020 is absolutely right.
I don't know what state you're in, but check in with the state bar association, they can help you find an attorney. Also, shop around, often you can get a free half hour consultation so that you at least know the legal lay of the land without spending a lot of money.
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You need to see a lawyer TOMORROW. If the boyfriend gets your mother to sign things that she does not understand, you will have huge legal mess that could take years to unravel.
Do not delay! On his own, boyfriend has no legal right to do anything with what your mother owns, but could certainly manipulate your mother or even forge her signatures on documents.
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OMG! Please run to an attorney NOW. A dear friend of mine is going thru hell in a situation kind of like this! Depending on the state you are in, you could have tons of problems with this. Please see an attorney immediately. Good luck! Please let us know what happens! We are in your corner!0
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Please see if the POA is "durable"0
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TY for responding, I have no money for an attorney. I have a notorized POA. My Mom can't do anything for herself now. I'm broke and I don't know what to do0
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TY for responding, I don't have any money for an attorney. I have a notorized POA. My Mom can't do anything for her self now. I'm broke and I just don't know what to do0
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TY for responding, my POA is notorized. I have no money for an attorney.0
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TY for responding. I have no money for an attorney. I have a notorized POA. My Mom can't do anything for her self now. I'm broke and I don't know what to do0
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TY for responding. I have no money for an attorney. I have a notorized POA. My Mom can't do anything for her self now. I'm broke and I don't know what to do0
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TY for responding. I don't have any money for an attorney. My Mom can't do anything for her self. I have a notorized POA. I'm just broke and I don't know what to do0
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TY for responding. I don't have any money for an attorney. I have a notorized POA. My Mom can't do anything for her self now. I'm broke and I don't know what to do0
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The user and all related content has been deleted.0
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I would call your local bar association, or call the state bar association - they may be able to help you find an attorney who will help you out for free or for little cost.
You can search for "state bar association" and the various states will pop up so you can choose the association for your state.
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Call your county social services dept adult protection dept. If they cannot help you, ask if there is Legal Aid in your area that helps low income clients. There are also legal nonprofits that help with housing issues...you might fall into that category. Call the bar association + ask if there are any local attorneys that work ‘pro bono’ (no fee) for low income clients.
You need legal help before you are homeless.
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Call your brother and let him know what is going on. Both of you need the lawyer as the boyfriend could get your mom disinherit him too.0
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If you send me copies of your POA privately I will copy your comments here and see if my lawyer will look at it.
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That would be great,can I send you pics or do I need to go somewhere there's a fax machine ?I so greatly appreciate your help0
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A Big Ty to everyone who has responded I need all the help and advice I can get0
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This will explain about POA v DPOA;
Both kinds must be notorized to be legal.
You might also check for a will
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Pictures work or scan them in.0
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Hi Tina, it's good that you're getting legal advice. That's the most important thing. But I want to also go back to something that I think Victoria mentioned in an earlier post, which is that it seems like this boyfriend does not fully realize what he is taking on. If you leave, will he be responsible for everything you have been doing for the last four years, and if he has been working during the day while you're holding down the fort, does he really understand what he is in for, especially since she will continue to decline and her needs will only get greater? He might wish in a few weeks or months that he had you back to help. Not to mention the emotional impact it will have on your Mom if you are suddenly gone from her care team on a regular basis! You're not even living in the house - you have your own residence. What is his problem? Can he be talked to so that some kind of reasonable plan can be put in place - for her sake if nobody else's. It sounds like he is either, excuse the term, gold-digging, and clearing out a major obstacle - you - or he has unrealistic visions of how great everything will be when he can finally devote himself full-time to caregiving, and it's just the two of them. If he doesn't understand that it's going to take a team, draw him up a proposal for what an agency or private caregiver will charge by the hour or month for caregiving, if you were not living there and doing it for free. Make sure he understand the market rates he would need to pay for someone to spell him so he can do things like take a shower, go to the doctor or dentist for his own needs, go to the drug store to pick up more incontinence products for her, go for a walk and clear his mind - all of the things a normal human being takes for granted! - when she gets to the point where she can't be left alone. You could draw out a 10-year plan/proposal on the assumption that yes, she really could live that long, and if he has plans for getting the house at the end of the rainbow he himself might not live to see it. Maybe that will get through to him. But step 1, as others have said, is to clarify your legal standing... and his. He's just a boyfriend. You're the daughter. It seems like if you have POA then your mother's wishes when she was competent to make that choice should be clear. Seems like he should be worried about you kicking HIM out and getting a restraining order, not about kicking you out. "Seems like" to a layperson, that is. Good luck, I hope it all works out in your favor, and your Mom's. The very fact that he would be trying to run off her daughter, who has cared for her for four years, seems like a pretty clear sign that he doesn't have her interests at heart!
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Some of the above seems to be with the idea that the boyfriend is a nice normal person. That cannot be assumed, if the OP is already worried about being thrown out. Fact is, he may not care about caring for mom the way a daughter did. What she did for mom, or what mom may need, is of no consideration whatsoever to him.
. The other fact is, he could take advantage of moms state of mind, to convince her to sign over the place.
If daughter is on the deed or will, no worries. Boyfriend has no power. But if the will or other papers give him authorization, then yes, he can remove her, with no care whether mom continues to get care or not.
Daughter needs to see an attorney yesterday. ( and no need to write separate thank you for every person who’s responded)
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Michael,my POA is 12 pages how do I send it to just you ?0
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Tina,
Bad situation to be in and I feel so very sorry for you. My thoughts will go out to you in prayer tonight. The thing about this is, in most states there is such a thing as a child's portion. Meaning that a child is entitled to part of an estate if there is no will. I am not a lawyer but I heard about this a long time ago. I do not know if that is your case but the way I see it your mother's boyfriend is going to have a pretty tough time convincing a judge that nothing should go to you and your sibling considering the care you've done for your mom and what a reasonable person would want for their children after he or she passes, especially in light of the care provided.
I don't know your family situation but the bf seems to be looking to take advantage of people who are broke and in a bad situation, to get his way, and the property. The law however doesn't care about that. It cares about what was put in writing, if there was anything put in writing and properly executed (meaning properly and legally done). And in the case of a missing will or no will things usually go through the family court system, which takes months, if not years. Moreover, with evictions, he can't just through you off the properly without an eviction order and with states backlogged with eviction cases, I would be super surprised if he gets his done quickly unless he like bribes a judge or something.
Like others said, get legal help asap. Someone on here is helping you from what I can see but what you can also do is call the ALZ 1800 number and get the phone to your local ALZ chapter. Your local ALZ chapter may be able to refer you to an attorney that knows ALZ family situations and can take your case pro bono (meaning free of charge). Don't delay though, the law is a complicated thing and you don't know what legal document/etc. he might have that he hasn't told you about. And whatever you and the lawyer discuss, do not tell the bf or even your brother at this point. Keep it just between you and the lawyer. You don't want to give the bf any type of advantage in this or give him any insight into what your doing.
God bless,
elhijo
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Tina, You should be capable of reading the POA yourself. The POA is just one part of all you need to do to protect you and your Mom right now.The fact that the POA is 12 pages long is a good sign. Read it. To confirm that it is “durable” (which it likely is) look for language about “Durability”, “Effectiveness”, “Term of the Power of Attorney”, and or “expiration”. These will be their own section headings. You just want to make that it only expires upon your Mom dying or upon your Mom revoking it. It should NOT expire upon your Mom’s incapacity. If it doesn’t expire if she becomes incapacitated (dementia), then that is called a Durable POA. Regarding “Effectiveness”: make sure it is effective now or read what it takes for it to be effective. If you’ve already been acting as POA you have probably already addressed this. Most of the time it can be used immediately, but sometimes it says there must be a letter of incapacity from one or more doctors first. Those 12 pages probably itemize all the things you can do with the POA. Look for something like “power to manage real property”. This means you can evict the boyfriend.Every minute that goes by without you taking action is another minute that the boyfriend can do something to evict you, stop your ability to care for your Mom, stop your ability to see your Mom, take your inheritance, etc. You need to be proactive.Your POA can be addressed in a matter of minutes.When boyfriend is at work tomorrow, go through every piece of paper in your Mom’s house. Remove everything relating to her and her affairs and keep it locked up where only you can access it. Look at every piece of paper in that house to uncover anything he may have done or plans to do. Obviously, do this out of your Mom’s sight if she is capable of relaying it to the boyfriend. There are all sorts of things you may uncover. Maybe you’ll find a POA naming him instead of you. Maybe you’ll find a marriage license. Use your own good judgement and risk tolerance to determine if you are willing to do this detective work and if you can do it without putting yourself in any physical danger should he discover you “accidentally saw some papers while looking for a paper you needed or something else for your Mom.” (And if you don’t find anything, it doesn’t mean your safe. The papers could be elsewhere or maybe he hasn’t done anything YET.)Check to see if the boyfriend has already changed the title to the land, giving himself ownership and the ability to evict you:Deeds are usually public record, available to anyone through the County Recorder’s Office. (Go to their website to find out the procedure for requesting documents. There is usually a small fee.) You will want to see if the "Transfer On Death” deed that your Mom did years ago is still the last document to be recorded. Keep in mind this type of deed can be revoked or a new one naming someone else can be recorded at any time. Also, if someone is added to the current ownership, you and your brother would not inherit the land until that person dies as well (assuming he/she doesn’t sell it first).You should have a letter from your Mom’s doctor stating her dementia diagnosis and the fact that she is not capable of handling her own financial and business affairs. If you don’t yet have this letter, get it, and have the doctor include the date he began treating her for cognitive impairment. This is always important to have in your files, but it may be crucial for you if you have to prove that any POA or other paperwork that the boyfriend may have had your Mom sign is not legally binding.A POA must act in the best interests of your Mom. That means you can’t use the power solely to benefit yourself. I don’t think you will have any difficulty showing why it is in your Mom’s best interests for the boyfriend to move out, but keep this in mind as you gather your information. Stick to the facts as it relates to your Mom’s wellbeing. It’s not about your personal feelings for the guy.Meanwhile, keep things friendly with the boyfriend and do not let on about your plans or that you are suspicious.The type and extent of legal assistance that you need depends on what you uncover and if you plan to evict him.
Other considerations: When does the boyfriend plan to retire? When did he say he was going to serve you with an eviction notice? Do you have a history of disagreements with him? How long have they been together? Does your Mom reside in one of the few states that still recognizes common-law marriages? Is this guy low on education and money? You are much better off acting as soon as possible so that HE is the one that has to hire a lawyer if he wants to fight you about something, not the other way around. It takes a lot more money and time to fix something than to prevent it from happening.
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Posters have made many excellent suggestions. If you have concerns about this guy taking advantage of your mother, and he may well be considering that he wants to evict you, you might want to cut him off financially from her. Even if there's a will, and you have durable power of attorney, and the property is deeded to pass to you and your brother, the guy can still do a tremendous amount of damage. And even though the law is on your side it's very, very expensive to file a civil suit after the damage is done. Many attorneys won't even consider it unless the estate is substantial, or they'll want a huge chunk of money up front. And recovering losses from fraud after the damage is done is usually impossible because the money is gone.
I would go through the house when the guy isn't there and gather up any account statements...bank statements, credit card statements, pension and Social Security statements...any I.D.'s like drivers license, passport or other picture I.D. that he could use to open new accounts or credit cards or use to take your mom to the bank to access her own accounts or notarize legal papers...anything with her Social Security number including tax papers, medical papers, Social Security card...her credit cards, her checkbooks.
As durable power of attorney you can do this because you're looking after your mother's financial interests.
I would look up her credit history online with the three major credit bureaus (Equifax, Transunion, Experian) to find out what credit lines and credit cards are open in her name. Then I would contact the issuers and cancel them all assuming they're paid off. I would use the durable power of attorney to place credit freezes and fraud alerts on her files with all three major credit bureaus so the guy can't open anymore credit cards in her name or take out a car or bank loan using her information.
I would visit each bank where she has an account and speak with the manager. Bring along the *original copy* of the durable power of attorney because banks are going to want to see that. Explain that your mother has advanced Alzheimer's and you're worried about possible fraud and someone unauthorized accessing her accounts. Every bank branch is different in how they deal with these situations. Some may put your name on all your mother's accounts and flag her accounts with a note that says that tellers should not permit her to withdraw money if she shows up with anyone except you. Some will do nothing.
If your durable power of attorney specifies that you may open bank accounts for your mother in the course of managing her affairs, open a new account for her at a different bank and at the very least have her pension and Social Security deposited in that account which the boyfriend will not know about and will be unable to access.
By all means keep all these papers and all this financial information safe someplace where the boyfriend won't be able to access it. In a safe deposit box or with your brother. Don't store it in the RV.
There's a good possibility that once the guy is cut off from your mother's money and forced to pay for his own groceries he'll vanish. But you need to gauge the situation yourself--and keep yourself safe in the process.
As another poster said, we have your back.
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I believe you have gotten some great advice from so many.
One thing I did not see mentioned is the possibility of the land may end up with the state if your mother should ever end up under government assistance in a home. It could become very expensive to take care of her.
I did send you my email address and make no promises but I do have a few lawyers who do pro bono work for me. I just don’t know if this falls under what they specialize in or are willing to extend the pro bono to you thru me. I will keep you posted.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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