I made the decision & I am taking a leap of faith

LadyTexan

I have listened to trusted individuals and professionals. I have considered the options. I have visited nursing facilities. I have consulted with our PCP. I have prayed about this situation.

Contrary to the wise, objective, and logic based advice I have received from the majority of responders here, I am bringing my DH back into our home today. 

I made the decision and I will accept the risk. I understand my decision is disagreeable to most of you. I may regret my decision and take a different action tomorrow, or next week or next month. 

Today I am bringing DH home.

dayn2nite2

I’m sad for you.

caberr

You are a brave and strong woman! I can't imagine all the pain you have gone through these past weeks.  I'm sure it was a hard decision to make but you are doing what you feel is best.  Advice is just that but the final decision is yours. 

Wishing you lots of luck and sending prayers that all will be ok.  

Ed1937

Lady, I know this is a most difficult decision. You will be in our prayers.

abc123

I don’t know what to say at this point. I hope and pray for safety.

banpaeng

Do what you think is correct for you and him.  That is the right decision and you made it.

Wish all well.

M1

My support doesn't depend on whether I agree with your decision.  Keep us posted...

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Lorita

Morning Lady Texan,

I respect your decision - I probably would have made the same one - and did at one time even though the ER doctor said it wasn't safe for Charles to come home at that time.  You've thought it out, prayed and consulted so it's the right decision for now.  You know that nothing is written in stone but I pray things will be good for both of you.  Let us know how it goes.

Last Dance

Is it the Right or Wrong decision?                                                                                            Only time will tell, but you did it with thought and prayer. as Lorita said its not written in stone, and as we all know things change every day and sometimes even every hour. I would think its easier for you to bring him home and give it one more try, then place him some where and always wondering if you did the right thing. At least this way you gave it your best shot, so don't fret about it, this disease is not kind to any of us and constantly makes us rethink our decisions, however all we can do is one day at a time and sometimes just one hour at a time. Tomorrow there will be more decisions to make and the day after that and the day after that so go forth and just continue to do the best you can that's all any of us can do. You are a great wife. God's Blessings to both of you as you give it another try. Richard

French

It is very difficult for the others to understand all the arguments/ constraints you can have. We are not in your shoes. Whatever your decision, it is your decision and it is what is important. And I hope you will revise it if you change opinion.

I sincerely hope that you rested enough and that everything will go well for you.

June45

M1 wrote:

My support doesn't depend on whether I agree with your decision.  Keep us posted...

M1 said it well.  We will be here for you to vent.  No judgment; we know that this has been very difficult for you and we can't begin to know all the details that only you have.  Hugs and prayers.

harshedbuzz

No judgment, only support and fervent hope that this new situation will play out differently.

HB

Quilting brings calm

Similar to M1, my wish to support you with virtual hugs doesn’t care what decision you made.  You had harder choices to make than I did when I put my parents in an ASL. 

Their  finances aren’t my finances.  I won’t go broke( or almost broke ) when their savings are gone.   They are in their 80s and may very well be deceased before one or both needs Medicaid. Even if still living, the other spouse won’t need as much money as you do because again, they are almost 30 years older than you. You have to protect your financial future which could last 40 years. 

You had limited choices for care because of his behavior  on top of staring at a financial cliff.

My only caveat to you is that I don’t think this is over.  I still don’t think you will get a smooth controlled transfer of residence in the future.  I still think there will be a transfer of residence sooner rather than later -but I don’t know what time frame. 

I still want to hear from you on this forum. Still want to see you happy soon.   Still hope for smooth sailing for you because this is hard.  And we are all trying to find the trail that is so overgrown with brush and weeds that we think the trail doesn’t exist.  Sometimes we have to detour around a fallen tree.  That’s what you are doing now. 

David J

LT,

It was your decision to make and you made it with your husband’s interest in mind.  No one can ask for more than that. I will be thinking of you and like others have said, support you moving forward. 

Dave

amicrazytoo

Wishing you the best. I can't imagine how difficult it was to make that decision. I completely understand. Please take good care of yourself.  You do him no good if you become incapacitated. Prayers and (((HUGS)))

LorettaP

I felt compelled to share this:  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 (I will keep you in my prayers.)

jfkoc

As I said before, I would bring my husband home BUT I would be ready to place him at a moments notice. I would need to know that I had gone the extra mile.

Take all safety precautions and be please be prepared to face the likely hood that it was the wrong decision and keep us in the loop because we are going to be worried about you!

God speed!!!!

ladyzetta

(((((((LadyTexan)))))))

Ed1937

Just remember that it's a lot easier for us to tell you what we think, when we are not the one who has to make the decision. You had an extremely difficult decision to make, and we're pulling for both of you. M1 said it very well. You have support here.

Doityourselfer

I wish you all the best.  None of us are in your shoes and you're doing what's best for you both at this point in time.  I admire your strength.

Pam BH

Lady Texan, I respect and support you, your thought process, and your decision. I also know you're not sugarcoating your situation and are well prepared for both good and bad and will always do what's best for you and your DH.

Mint

(((LadyTexan))) It is your decision and I respect that.  My thoughts were just my thoughts.  I’m not walking in your shoes.  Take care

hvhartman

I admire you making your own decision, accepting responsibility and accepting that you are willing to reverse course if things don't work out as you hope.  And will worry with your other supporters so keep us posted.

Joe C.

LT, I will keep you in my prays, hoping all goes well when you bring your husband home. Please keep us posted.

abc123

Thinking, wishing, hoping, praying for peace for you both.

Jo C.

You have thought and agonized over this decision and you must do what you feel is best.  I send you best wishes and high hopes that all will go well.   You have much more knowledge at hand now than you did before all of this happened and that will be a positive for however the future plays out.

Warmest thoughts being sent your way once again, please let us know how you are and how things are going; we will be thinking of you.

 J.

anneleigh

Hugs to you!

mrl

LT

God Bless You, I personally think it is a very heartfelt decision. Don't doubt yourself.

You won't regret it, Prayers coming your way.

Michele

Jeff86

LT,

I have said here before that not only is each PWD’s journey unique, so is each caregiver’s journey.

You have been an extraordinarily thoughtful and devoted caregiver, and I join with others in respecting the decision you have arrived at.  I am hoping for the best possible outcome for you and your DH, and hope you will continue to share so generously your experiences, from which we all learn and benefit.

Sending good thoughts your way.