Goinginto Aged Care

Worrier

I have looked after my mum for over 10 years.  She suffers from Dementia and Oesto Arthritis in her knees which has left her bar ely able to ealk.  2 weeks ago she had a couple of falls and after being in hospital for 2 days thhe Allied Health told me she required 24 hour care and i cannot provide that, so looked for a good care home and she has now been there for two weeks.

Problem is that she is not settling and every time i see her she asks to come home, and asks why shes there over and over again.  It is killing me to see her so unsettled and unhappy even although she has only good things to say about yhe home and care she is receiving.

Has anyone else been through this?  Does anyone have any advice on what to say to her or how to help her to settle better.

kmasenact

That's because it's new to her. Give her a few weeks and this should subside.

MN Chickadee

That sounds pretty typical. Two weeks is not long when it comes to a person with dementia adjusting to a new environment. I know it's hard and how excruciating it is to have them asking to go home, I really do. You might try a therapeutic fib. "The doctor wants you to stay here a little while to get stronger. You might be ready to go home next week." always say next week, rinse and repeat. Calling it temporary is often a strategy that helps them settle in and not be so anxious, because their brains can't process the truth. Some people say there is a problem with their home (broken pipe, no electricity etc) and they need to stay here until it's fixed. Find the therapeutic fib that will bring comfort.  My mother took about 4-6 weeks to settle in, and wasn't really content until about 8 weeks. But ever since (3 years now) she has done well in her facility. Just give it more time, take it one day a ta time, and keep your eye on the light at the end of the tunnel. She will adjust, just give it more time.