For discussion: what's your stress relief? Good or bad?
Comments
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I use many of the same stress busters that are listed here. But the best stress buster is getting together with my various girlfriends. For lunch, craft fairs, shopping. These visits always include a healthy dose of laughter and sometimes a good amount of silliness. One of my bigger fears these days is how I will handle the time that my DH can’t be left home alone. I’m willing to hire someone to stay with him. But the difficult part will be to get him to accept it. I will cross that bridge when I get there because I need those friendships!0
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It's been nice reading what everyone does to relieve stress. I've always been an avid book reader and have a great library of books. Some I go back to re-read after a few years. I used to order books from Amazon when it was only a book seller.
Like Pat, I am thinking about when I will need to hire someone to come in to watch over my DH. Our long term care policy will pay for some of it, but not sure just how much. Getting our spouses to accept someone coming into the house is concerning. Perhaps it will go better than I anticipate.
Today is my birthday and my DIL is taking me out for a pedicure and our son will come and drain the sprinkler system and swamp cooler while we are gone. I so appreciate all of their amazing help.
N
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Just thought I would mention a couple of mine that I hadn't seen anyone else say, exactly:
Practicing and rehearsing music with a "rock" choir of over 55 folks. Love the oldies and the challenge of learning and singing them. And rehearsal is only 2.5 hours portal to portal per week. There is also a zoom alternative.
Knitting is kind of a zen thing for me. My fingers move, and my mind is free to roam. I think other crafts might be the same. If I am feeling like it, I sometimes listen to audio books at the same time.
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For me it's work.
I also take a walk every morning with dh and every evening with ds.
I play wizard101.com. My kids got me started on it and now they're grown but I'm not.
I downloaded a Steam game called "The Hunter: Call of the Wild" even though I would never hunt. It has awesome graphics and outdoor sounds and I can just walk around there (virtually). I play that when my stress level is too high for anything else.
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I subscribe to the New Yorker and read a book once in a while, preferably nonfiction but not always.
Some of my old injuries have turned to arthritis. Running, tennis and the like are out, but I find pool exercises relaxing. You can combine resistance exercise and aerobic exercise in a pool routine.
Breaking things feels good sometimes. I like to break clay targets with a shotgun and I like to pull weeds.
Eating. I love to buy really good, healthy food at roadside stands and eat it.
Antidepressants turn my nightmares to innocuous dreams. Alcohol feels good but isn't a good idea for me. I have really nasty nightmares when it wears off and I start dreaming again.
I like the outdoors and I love humor. I saw a buzzard flying, carrying a squirrel from the road to a more convenient dining place this morning. I guess it was his carrion luggage.
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Hi M1. I hope you are doing well. I enjoy music and when I’m wound too tight, I listen to classical mostly. Norah Jones and Enya are nice stress busters too. Gardening, pulling weeds, walking the dogs.
Hi Pamela! Welcome to your forum family. Many fine people here with years of hands on experience. I have learned a lot of valuable information here. Feel free to ask any questions you may have and also feel free to vent/rant. We understand and we care. I’m glad you found us. Welcome.
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Pamela926 I know must of us can agree with the tears....sometimes that's the best stress reliever of all.0
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Running
Cycling
Walking
Cooking for my children
Gardening, some week end, when the weather is ok
And my jacuzzi
Apart the jacuzzi, I need to move to relax. I need to move a lot. I noticed that when walking, running or cycling, I'm moving forward in my head, I never brood.
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For me is tennis, a way to socialize, exercise and be completely removed from my reality.
Meditation, playing the piano and bridge also help.
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This morning I looked at images of past El Arroyo signs on Google. El Arroyo is a Mexican Restaurant in Austin Texas. They have a marquee where they put clever messages. Usually they are pretty funny, for example:
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I can say my stress relief causes me stress at this point.
Eating
Drinking wine
shopping.
I work full time and know that the time is coming quickly that I will need a caregiver or to work from home somehow.
I find myself just craving a couple hours alone in the house.
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Have not been away from hubby at all for months. We are at stage where he needs help a lot. Grandson's wife does such assessment and says he would qualify for placement in a memory care facility. He made me promise not to 'warehouse' him in such a facility until absolutely necessary. Saw references on other threads about family and friends who pledged to help ghosting you as time goes on. That has happened to us. He will not let me hire a professional caregiver because he still believes he can be left alone. Haven't found any stress relievers. Do take him out for ice cream or a donut or to sit in park sometimes.
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Lots of good ideas! The best activity for me is briskly walking 2 miles on the treadmill each morning while listening to and watching Music Choice on TV--usually songs from the 70s--though sometimes golden oldies or the 80s. On really good mornings, I'm able to do this before my DH wakes up. Alzheimer's runs in my family--both my mother and 2 first cousins died from it; and I didn't expect my DH to get it since no one else in his family appears to have it, but we're on that journey. When I'm walking, I imagine that I'm outrunning Alzheimer's--it can't catch me. It takes me 33 minutes for this activity, and it's now part of my morning routine, along with taking a vitamin. I always feel better when I finish--even aches and pains seem to go away.
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Old Thread from 2021 . . . . but the input is still valid and helpful
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Reaching out to old friends to maintain some social contact. They have been surprisingly responsive, even though I haven't kept in contact with many of them for years. In dong this seem to have almost randomly and certainly unexpectedly lucked in to a possible future relationship with an old friend (a widow who was married to a great guy). Nothing besides texts and calls at this point, but we like to talk and may eventually meet up. It's not that this has led to anything or that there is any way to predict anything, but just that as DW has reached the later stages and I am providing the very best in-home care that I can, it provides much more optimism about the future and comfort than I would ever have expected. Both realize that the possibility of something in the future is a possibility, however remote, and just talking about it and getting to know each other to the extent possible long distance, including all the caveats that we have no idea if we have real compatibility, is exciting in the sense that it gives hope that a brighter future is a realistic possibility, something that I hadn't given much thought to while caring for my deeply loved DW for many years now. And this counterpoint of optimism is a huge stress reliever.
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My husband was diagnosed with AD in 2015. Last year he had a paralyzing stroke. Taking care of him put me in the hospital 2 1/2 years ago because I was not dealing with stress in healthy ways, an understatement. Since that time, and more recently when my husband entered a skilled nursing facility in 2022, I finally started my self care journey. In January I had my second knee replacement, which I had postponed for over five years. I returned to my normal weight, and went back to the Y for aerobic dance and strength-building classes.
Those were the physical changes. The biggest stress reducers have been emotional. My reading habits and TV viewing habits have changed. Yes, I still follow news and politics daily but it’s no longer a 24/7 effort. Escape is no longer guilt-inducing. If I read a whodunnit or a romance novel or sit down to a rom-com chick-flick, I’m not embarrassed. I do whatever it takes to maintain my emotional equilibrium. That includes cutting out my daily three-hour visits to DH. He no longer knows when I’ve visited but I do. One-hour visits three times a week has helped me maintain my well-being.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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