DH is bedbound, sleeps most of the day & isn't hungry

LadyTexan

DH continues to decline. DH is now 100% bedbound. 

He is now on a 50 mCg Fentanyl which can be augmented with Morphine every hour as needed.

On Friday he was delirious. He thought we were in a mansion. He was so excited we could stay here and wondered what it was going to cost. A nurse tried twice, to insert a catheter but was unsuccessful. DH curled into a ball. Because the delirium came on so quickly, I suggested the possibility of a UTI.

Saturday DH was more aware of the present. He stated he was in pain. I gave him several doses of morphine as directed and some ativan. He slept most of the day. The nurse brought antibiotics in case DH had a UTI. I was able to give him his meds in pudding. That is all he ate all day. He does sip coffee and water.

Sunday (today) DH is sweating but has no fever. He communicates with one word answers in a weak voice. I was able to give him his morning meds with pudding. He sips on coffee and water. He states he has pain which I treat with morphine. The hospice nurse stated DH likely needs 24/7 care now.

Does this sound like we are near the end?

abc123

Lady, My heart goes out to you. Your dear husband and my mother seem to be very close in their journey. They are experiencing plenty of the same types of loss. Our hospice RN told me yesterday that she doesn't see my LO being here much longer. She feels like we might have weeks left. Of course she reminded me she's not God nor does she have a crystal ball. She also told me two weeks ago that momma needs 24 hour care.  

I want to remind you how much you mean to all of us here. You are well loved and admired. You are an inspiration to me, to all of us. You are constantly on my heart and in my prayers, DH is also. Our nurse told us if mom would find comfort in having her dogs near her, it would be okay to put them in bed with her. Would Hap be a comfort to DH right now? I just wanted to share that with you.  

Quilting brings calm

LT

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve reached this stage.  Please try to get some  rest / I know that is hard to do. 

toolbeltexpert

Lt I can offer any advice but I want you to know your in my prayers. Sending hugs your way.

LadyTexan

toolbeltexpert

Hap looks like such a comfort for dh.

JoseyWales

I'm so sorry to hear this news. I want to send you hugs. You're such an inspiration - you've done everything possible for your husband and I admire you for that.

I am rather in shock with how quickly your DH has declined. It seems like both of our DHs were at the same place just a few months ago. 

Hugs.

BethL

You are doing such a good job, LT! God bless you and your family in this journey.

p.s. Hap is adorable.

abc123

Thank you for sharing this beautiful picture!

Battlebuddy

Oh dear, it does sound like he has really declined. Love the picture and the poochie. Hang in there. If he really stops eating I think he doesn’t have much time left. It’s so hard to be where you are now. Wishing and praying for strength for you.

Lynne D

…what ABC123 said. I have no experience here, but want you to know you and your loved one are in my thoughts.

Jeff86

I am sorry, LT, to read of your DH’s decline.   You are doing magnificently, caring him; I am sorry it is so hard.  

Do lean on hospice for support.   And all of us here.  We are with you in spirit.  

M1

Sending prayers LT. Love the picture. As I just told abc on her thread, you are providing him safe passage.

caberr

I have no advice but wanted to let you know you and DH are in my prayers.  You have always had such a positive attitude which has helped me. Take care

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Mint

Thinking of you LT

Ed1937

Lady, I'm so sorry. I hope God will give you all the strength you need in this difficult time. I think DH is being comforted by Hap. What a great pic!

Doityourselfer

LadyTexan,

This is an extremely heartbreaking stage.  From my own experience, when my husband was bedbound he became less interested in eating.  When he took in less and less water, I knew it was very close to the end.  It seems like it happened so suddenly, out of the blue.  I am relieved he is no longer suffering but I still can't believe he's not here physically.

Hang in there, you don't know what's coming around the corner.  Thank goodness for Hospice.

Beachfan

Lady Texan,

I am sorry you have reached this point, but I deeply admire your tenacity in caring for DH.  If it’s any consolation, DH looks to be comfortable and content, a testament to your unwavering care.  And “Hap”- - he looks to be force to be reckoned with - - small but mighty, DH’s faithful guardian.  Praying for you.  Stay strong.  

LadyTexan

Thank you so much for feedback and support. I was very worried that DH was on death's doorstep. He seems a little better today. Although he is not interested in food, he is drinking plenty of water. 

This morning, the Hospice nurse offered 5 days of respite care to us. The respite allows DH to stay in a local nursing home for 5 midnights. I can visit DH as often as I like.

DH agreed to the respite care this morning. He's been delirious on and off since Friday, so I am not sure if he understood what he was agreeing too. This is a good opportunity for DH and I to take placement for a "test drive". Fingers crossed that we get a bed in our preferred nursing home.

Pam BH

Lady Texan, many prayers for you and DH. I'm so sorry things are moving at such a quick pace. I'm grateful you and DH have Hap. He much be such a blessing and is absolutely adorable. I'm also grateful you have your faith to lean on. Hopefully this respite care will be just what you need.

Marie58

LT, this reminds me of how my DH was in Nov. Suddenly couldn't walk, became bedbound, sweating but no fever, more tremors, restless, breathing hard and shallow, and eating very little. Hospice also started an antibiotic and morphine, and then seroquel. Within 5 days he was calm, eating and drinking, but still bedbound. Impossible to say what's next but glad Hospice is there. And Hap too! May God give you strength, peace and comfort to keep moving forward. You're an amazing caregiver.

Sligo177

Lady Texan,

This must be incredibly hard for you.  I want to add to the others' messages, that I am thinking of you and your DH.  You are a kind, strong woman and I wish peace and rest for you, God bless you and your family. 

Buggsroo

Lady T,

Your husband and the dog look sweet together. I can imagine your feelings about what is going on in your life. It is an awful disease and it robs us blind. I think you have been amazing in caring for your husband and providing him a stable environment. Your love for him is wonderful, I think you are pretty amazing. Sending you a hug.

Joydean

Lady T, thank you for sharing such a beautiful picture of your dear husband and Hap. I know your pet is a big part of the family! Together they are a great pair. 

I’m sorry things have progressed so much. Very glad you are both going to get this respite. You can be wife instead of caregiver for a few days. 

God bless you both. You are truly an amazing and inspirational person! 

ButterflyWings

(((LT))), this photo is priceless! They look very cool and content, and for sure Hap is a special protective and comforting spirit. I am glad your DH seems to have stabilized a bit and that you have respite care lined up. 

I agree with all the accolades and encouragement you are receiving from fellow members. What an outstanding caregiver, wife, and human being you are. I hope you will get those few days soon, to do just what you want - or nothing at all - knowing that your DH is safe and in good hands. It is indeed a good test run for potential placement to have that option, given how much 24/7 hands on care and lifting he needs now. 

You really are amazing. Praying, believing, and staying the course has brought you through some unthinkable challenges already. All will be well, even though it is a tough journey, you are demonstrating this daily. Keeping the faith with you.

Elshack

Lady T

I am sending prayers and hugs your way. You are a warrior for sure and have taken such good care of your dear husband. I hope this 5 day respite enables you to get some rest. Just know you are loved by all on this forum. I admire your courage and want to thank you for your encouraging posts to others on this forum while you are experiencing your own personal sad journey.

Pat6177

LT, so glad to hear about the respite care. I can only imagine the relief when you hand over the burden of the physical care for a few days. Keeping my fingers crossed that you get the preferred nursing home. Virtual hugs ((()))

LadyTexan

Thank you for the prayers, love and support. I am moved by your kind words and kind thoughts. I am grateful for all of you. I could not survive this journey without you.

Now that I have made the decision to accept the respite, I am very anxious for it to begin. The SNF has his records but they have not responded yet. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

As you all know, this disease is cruel and unpredictable. My DH has started a new behavior that is probably old hat to many of you. He wants to go to work. He has been demanding to go to work for 2 days now...maybe more. The days are starting to blend.

DH is much kinder to the hospice staff than he is to me. He tells them please and thank you. He growls at me. When it is just me, one minute he yelps in pain, then he demands to go to work. He won't cooperate when I try to change him. Good news is that I am getting more accomplished rolling him and replacing the underpads.

The Lavin straps arrived yesterday. Regretfully, the company sent the wrong size. The customer service was excellent and the right size is on the way.

You and my faith are carrying me through this challenging time. 

God bless you all and your loved ones.

harshedbuzz

LT-

Thanks for sharing the picture. He's pretty easy on the eyes- I can see why you fell for him. And Hap is just adorable.

I am sorry things are so hard right now. My dad went through the "work" phase as well. His role as provider defined him, so it wasn't out of character, but I think news sometimes triggered it when things like the stock market, price increases and inflation were mentioned on TV. It became better to restrict his access to such programming. As always, YMMV.

My dad was also unfailingly polite with others. After he passed, we got a couple of notes from staff saying what a gentleman he was- unfailingly polite and pleasant. He was even pretty complimentary about me and I was by no means a favorite. My poor mom bore the brunt of his tetchiness. I always felt it was similar to the way a preschooler saves his worst for mom because he knows on some level her love is unconditional. 

I hope your respite helps get some rest and recharge yourself.

HB

White Crane

 Dear Lady T,  I am so sorry this is happening to you and your dear husband. He looks so peaceful in the picture. You have taken such good care of him. Sending hugs and  lots of love and prayers.

Brenda