Hygiene With Dementia

blakeaking6794

Hi, I am Blake and I take care of Mrs. Betty and she has dementia. Her husband just passed away a couple of weeks ago and she also has a daughter with cerebral palsy (47 years old) (also lives in the home with her own sitter). Mrs. Betty refuses to go to the bathroom or shower or put on dry clothes or really do anything that she believes wasn't her idea to begin with. Her go-to phrases are, "Son of a biscuit eater!", "GET OUT!", "BYE", "HELLO!", "I don't need no help", "I do this every day right by myself", "Don't touch me", so on.... I try to remind myself that this is frustrating for her, but it's also frustrating for me because my job is literally to stay with her 24/7 7 days on, 7 days off. My main concern is her health.
I feel like there are better ways than what I am doing to help her, but she just gets so angry and if I try to make her do something, as in make her change her soiled bloomers, she becomes irate and starts swatting and yelling for you to get out and leave her alone. Any tips or tricks to make simple hygiene tasks easier for the both of us. Please help!

MrsAnnabelLee

Blake, caring for someone with dementia can be very challenging. They do not recognize that they need any help, even when it is very clear.

There's a woman named Teepa Snow who has tons of great information for caregivers like yourself to learn how to get things done in a way that is loving, and preserves as much dignity for the person you're caring for as possible. She has a lot of videos on YouTube and has recently been posting a lot on TikTok. Definitely check some of them out. 

Neverends

Hi Blake, is there any part of the day that is better for her. Mornings? Can you bribe with food or something  she really likes ?  Is she on any medication  for her agitation and aggression. If not she might need something  to calm her down. I would try sponge baths while she is sitting on the toilet, not the best scenario but worth a shot. I would make it quick, redirect, maybe some music and only do the important  parts. I'm sure you get what I mean. Dry shampoo for the hair. The aggression and agitation  is a part of dementia  for most of us. Medication  has been a lifesaver for me and many others. I deal with the same  issue with my mother. It's tough. Hang in there.