Hospice guesstimates DH has 2 - 3 weeks

LadyTexan

Dh stopped eating and is having difficulty swallowing. The hospice nurse estimates DH has 2-3 weeks before death. I will be surprised if he lasts that long. He is so miserable, that if he goes sooner I'll be okay with that.......but......

Preparations are complete as can be and I don't want him to suffer another second, but I feel woefully unprepared for living without him. I have been single a lot of my adult life. I enjoyed being single. I can't imagine my life without DH in it.

Mint

(((LadyTexan))),  Thinking of you

jfkoc

me too.......

ImMaggieMae

Lady Texan, I am so sorry. No matter how prepared you are, one can never really be prepared for something like this. Wishing you strength.

Beachfan

Thoughts and prayers are with you.  Stay strong.

M1

We’re with you LT. What a long goodbye it has been.

Lills

Ohhhh, I'm so sorry!  My DH is not quite as far along as your DH...but I do understand the wait.  On one hand, you want him to go peacefully but on the other hand, I am not ready to be alone either.  We've been married 46 years.  

Thinking of you!  

abc123

I am so sorry to hear this. I am with you in spirit.

Battlebuddy

  So sorry Lady Texan. Are you there alone? Will you have family that gathers? Do you have CNAs helping you? I know you have Hospice but was just wondering how you will pass these weeks. It’s something I’ve thought about. What would be better- what would make it more stressful. 

   I hope you have people that can come around you and support you- run errands. 

    You have been so brave and strong. Our thoughts and prayers are with you .  

Lynne D

I am thinking of you and wishing you both peace.

JoseyWales

(((Lady Texan)))

My prayers will be with you through this difficult time. 

Lills

Just a thought:  I've been adamant about wanted my DH to be able to die at home...but... lately, I've been talking with the hospice SW about transferring DH to a hospice home at the end.  I would be able to stay with him, yet go home if needed.  I'm considering this when DH stops eating.  I want to be with him at the end of his life but I realize I can't care for him 24/7 without overnight help.  But the last time I hired overnight help, I couldn't sleep.  I'm an extremely light sleeper; I heard every noise the CNA made!  Just thinking of you and what you are/will be going through in the next 2-3 weeks.  

toolbeltexpert

LT  we are all here thinking of you and wishing you peace during this time.

White Crane

Dear Lady Texan, my prayers are with you.

LadyTexan

Thank you so much everyone.

There were so many days when I wished (with great passion) for this journey to be over. Like all of you, I don't want my loved one to suffer. Now that the end is approaching I feel panicked and anxious. I feel like I have been punched in the gut and can barely breathe. And a huge train is bearing down on me but the second of impact is unknown. Meanwhile, I feel like someone is trying to rip out my heart with a rusty claw hammer then pound it into the pavement and there is no anesthetic.

I have been very protective of my DH. I have informed friends and family of the hospice nurse's expected timeline. Now there is a parade of people that want to visit. Interestingly, I want to spend every last minute there is with DH. Of course, he needs others and others need him. I am learning to graciously share this man I love with my entire being, with others that love him too.

My priorities are:

• ensuring DH hears that he is loved, 
• managing DH's pain and 
• keeping our environment calm and peaceful. Keeping the environment calm is not easy because Hap serves as our doorbell.

Hospice Aides come 3 days a week. Hospice nurse comes twice a week. I bring in the same caregiver that I have been using, 2 days a week for 4 hours each. A social worker was assigned to my case. The SW has not been especially helpful, She tells me about resources I am already aware of. But did share 2 new tips that I was unaware of. A chaplain comes each week and DH was finding that comforting. The rest of the time it is me. That's what I prefer so far. I don't want to spend a precious minute away from DH. I suspect that tactic is not sustainable. Maybe I'll develop a plan on Monday.

I did have the Catholic Priest administer last rights. I have been praying at DH's bedside. I am grateful for all the prayers and thoughts from all of you. I believe in the power of prayer. It comforts me. I know you all are holding me up. There is NO WAY I could do this without you.

I do have so much gratitude even during this heartbreaking time. I'll share the gratitude with you forum family and friend later when I am not such an emotional disaster. 

One of the lessons I learned on this journey, is that whatever stage my loved one was living, there was something to be grateful  for.

More later dear friends. Thank you for your love and support.

Ed1937

Lady, I'm sorry you have entered this most difficult time. Sending prayers your way for peace and comfort.

Joe C.

LT, I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers. Stay strong!

Quilting brings calm

LT. I’m sorry that you have reached this stage.  The next 2-3 weeks will be exhausting for you in every way. Please try to sleep when your spouse sleeps.  If anyone offers to help …. Then be honest.  Tell them there is laundry and  grocery shopping and cleaning.    Your feelings as you described them are normal

loveskitties

Dear LT, so sorry that things have come to this stage.

Regardless of how long we watch our LO disappear with this disease, the end is no easier.

Thoughts and prayers for both of you.

Joydean

Lady T, thoughts and prayers for you both. Asking God for strength for you and peace. His peace! 

Vitruvius

Lady Texan,

Your idea that there are always things to be grateful for as have made a strong impression on me. I have begun to try to always see things I am grateful for as well. 

I just wanted you to know that you have helped me on my journey. I wish you every comfort in the coming weeks. 

Cherjer

Dear Lady Texan,

It just seems such a short time ago that you posted,,,or maybe I just got here late...you  have been such an inspiration to all of us and my heart breaks as you are experiencing this at a young age. This long good-bye is so sad, but I know you have always talked about being grateful and this time with your DH will give you special time with him. May you and your DH experience peace as your journey continues.

ButterflyWings

(((LadyT))) - Praying with you, and for you. May you and your DH have all the support you need to help you through this part of the journey.

Jeff86

My heart is with you, LT, on this most difficult last leg of the journey.   Wishing you both peace.

Pam BH

Lady Texan, my heart goes out to you and I'm praying for God's strength for you and your DH during this journey. I am so grateful for you, your insight, your honesty, and your inspiration caring for your DH with such love and compassion. I am even more grateful that you are a woman of faith and rely on it daily. You have helped me and so many others and we're here for you anytime.

riajean

Dear Lady Texan, as much as many of us have had moments we yearn for the end, when it actually hits us between the eyes, our feelings change.  It's just that this road is so long and so hard.  Seeing our DH's suffer is just more than most of us can bear.  You demonstrate incredible strength and have done all you can do as his beloved wife.  Try to rest in others and allow them to be by your side as much as you can bear.

Sending hugs, love and prayers.

Jo C.

Such a long and difficult journey; I remember so much of what was endured.   You now walk at his side, his ever-faithful and loving wife as he begins his transition from this life.  So difficult to do and feelings certainly can be overwhelming; he is blessed to have you near him as his guide and carer.

Please let us know how you are doing; we all really care.

J.

jfkoc

thinking of you.....

Marie58

LadyTexan, may the Lord bless you and keep you and shine His face upon you and be gracious to you and give you peace during this time.

Elshack

Lady T

My thoughts and prayers are with you as you come to the end of your journey as a loving wife and caretaker. You have been such an inspiration to me with your patience and faith.

Doityourselfer

Lady Texan,  I'm thinking of you during this very difficult time.  I know how heartbreaking it is.