A phone call, a visit

toolbeltexpert

I am glad to hear your good news. The covid thing is what I keep going back to with dw. And eventually I get her to move on to something else. I left her alone from 8am to 3pm today.

Faith,Hope,Love

That's terrific!!  I'll be saying prayers for Friday.

Joydean

This is the best news I’ve heard in a while! So very happy for the both of you. Glad she enjoyed the chicken and hopefully the apple pie. Has to feel good that she just wanted to be with you! Hope you rest well the rest of the day. Prayers for Friday! 

Jo C.

I have been watching for you and am delighted to hear that the visitation dynamics were somewhat improved.  May Friday continue to be the same.  Perhaps as visits take place more often, your Partner will soon become more used to the routine aspect of your visits and and accept them as routine instead of them being an unusual event to be questioned. 

It is wonderful she could express her love, and that she enjoyed her special meal; well done M1, and with apple pie too!

May you have a restful sleep with sweet dreams tonight.
 
 J.

Jeff86

Well, you must think of today as a victory.  While your partner’s desire to leave/come home is ongoing, you were not a trigger, she was glad to see and be with you, and you had a long visit.

One day at a time, even as we all hope for your sake that Friday continues this much better tone.  Cherish it, even as we can appreciate that you’re anticipatory for the next visit.  Very happy for you she affirmed her love for you.

Buggsroo

M1,

I am glad your visit went well. I am hoping a routine will help both of you. I hope things balance out better.

abc123

I'll be thinking of you on Friday and hoping for another good visit.

Ed1937

Today's the day. I hope you can bring us some good news.

Jo C.

Sure am thinking of you today and hoping with bright hope for you to have had a good visit.

J.

abc123

Just checking in. Hoping and praying for you both.

toolbeltexpert

M1 Ditto what everyone else has said hoping your visit was a good one.

M1

I almost hate to say it for jinxing myself but:  maybe progress?

I was able to stay for an hour today, so two visits in a week--first time ever.  The activities director met me at the door and said they'd been talking to her about the fact that this was her home now, said she seemed to be okay with it---but it's obvious to me that none of it has stuck, at least yet.  But she (activities director) also told me S. was socializing more, joining exercise class, and played bingo yesterday.

She was immediately anxious when I got there---"I can't do this much longer."  Nothing to show that any of the conversations about staying had stuck, said she was ready to leave, would be leaving shortly, if I wouldn't take her home she was just leaving on her own.  She pouted (an expert).  But I kept telling her she'd been so sick (true), wasn't ready to leave, but at least I could visit there, etc. etc. etc.--and eventually (15-20 minutes of this) she left it and said she loved me, was glad to see me.  Then we actually had a conversation.  Believe it or not, I told her about things going on with the election, the Dobbs decision (not to bring those up for conversation here, I wouldn't being to impose on anyone here)--told her they were the things she'd missed while she'd been so sick, and she actually enjoyed my catching her up.  Of course, she won't remember any of it, but it was a real conversation.

I had told her I had a meeting to go to, so that was my excuse for leaving--and she didn't fight it.  She walked with me to the door, wanted to know when I would be back (two days, I said, though really it will be Tuesday), and the activities director immediately engaged her for wine and cheese happy hour that they do on Friday afternoons.  So I came home and mowed the fields to beat the weekend rain.

So she still thinks/wants to believe/keeps asking can she come home with me when she's better.  Hopefully, with no sense of time and clearly no memory of the farm at all, we can just continue on this thread for a while, we'll see.  But right now it certainly feels like more success than we've had ever in the last six months.  Fingers crossed that it continues.  The plan is to see if we can acclimate her to my visiting twice a week.

I have to say again how grateful, grateful, grateful I am for you guys.  The fact that anyone cares makes a huge difference.  

Jeff86

We care enormously, M1.  We are all accompanying one another on this difficult journey, and if it makes the journey even a little less lonely it’s a very significant accomplishment.

So glad you had another mostly successful visit.  Wonderful that your partner can and does express her love, and wonderful too to be able to have a real conversation (yes, even if it won’t be remembered).  

This has been such a difficult time for you, and a long run of it.  I am so glad some light is shining on you both.  

ImMaggieMae

M1, it sounds like things are calming down for her. So glad the Covid is gone and she’s feeling better again. I hope your visits continue to go well. It sounds like she’s happy to see you again and able to discuss the news and things other than leaving. You must be feeling very relieved.

Pam BH

M1, thanks so much for the update. I've been waiting and hoping for a good visit - but this was a fabulous visit. So glad for both of you. Sounds like she's mellowing to the facility slowly. Hope your shoulders have relaxed a little and that your Tuesday visit will be even better.

White Crane

Dear M1, I'm so glad your visit went well.  And how lovely that you were able to have an actual conversation with her!  I'm sure that felt good.  She may not remember it but you will.  Praying your visits continue to go well and even get better.  Hugs.

Faith,Hope,Love

Hurray!!!  What an amazing visit.  I'm sure there are many of us who have been praying for your visit M1.  I'm so glad it went well, and you have some peace.

Hoot619

Our prayers are being answered, I'm real happy for you.

Jo C.

It was good to read how the visit went; so glad it went as it did.  She will, I bet, become adapted to your visits being part of her usual way of being as they come more and more part of her usual week.

She loves you much and it is a gift to have her able to still recognize that and tell you.   It was really good to fill her in on the news, etc.; that seems to have piqued her interest and "entertained" her.  Matters not that she will not remember it; in fact, you can repeat and it will be new for her all over again. 

May this continue on in a good vein and I imagine you are skilled at re-focusing her when she begins to state she is not able to continue as is anymore . . . . you are a wonderful Partner and an awesome advocate.   You have let yourself go wanting and in heartfelt pain in order to accommodate her by not visiting for two months until she could tolerate visits without meltdowns; that had to be so dreadfully difficult for you, but you made the decision to do what was best for her; what a very loving and selfless thing to do.  May the future visits be even better and better.

J.

Joydean

M1, so very happy for you and your wife. I can imagine how it made you feel to hear her say “I love you “.  They in its self was worth so much to your heart. Just being there with her, God dose answer all our prayers for you both. Hope you have many more wonderful visits. Thank you for sharing your great news!

Ed1937

Yes, M1, there is a Santa Claus! So happy for both of you. It's been a long time coming. Almost 5 months?

abc123

M1!!!! I am very happy this visit went so well. May they continue to get better and more relaxed for you. We are all on your side, we all care. Thank you for the update!