This may be it

May flowers

I will write more detail later, but just want to ask for everyone's thoughts and prayers. This may be it for my FIL.

So he had Covid 2 weeks ago - which he recovered from pretty quickly. Within 5 days, he had no fever, 02 was normal, he was alert, and mostly back to his baseline cognitiviely, and his lungs were clear per the hospice nurse.

The one thing that lingered, though, is his ability to swallow worsened.

Wednesday or yesterday, he developed aspiration pneumonia. It was SO SUDDEN. His oxygen went from being fine and no temp to 102 temp and 85% oxygen by the afternoon. He's on morphine and levsin. His vitals are good now, but the hospice nurse was here this morning and she said his heart is really pounding and his extremities are cold and starting to mottle.

He won't take any liquids or food, so I have a feeling this may be the end. The hospice doc did call in antibiotics and prednisone, but we can't get anything in him except these tiny doses of morphine in a syringe.

We are just trying to keep him as comfortable as possible.

I have been mentally preparing myself for losing him, but I was not prepared for how quickly something like this can happen.

M1

Sending thoughts and prayers your way.  You have been such an awesome caregiver, really truly.

Hoot619

Your in my prayers

SusanB-dil

May flowers - ((hugs))    yes, prayers and positive thoughts to you and your family

Quilting brings calm

The final issue that takes a loved one’s life is often totally unexpected.  It was that way with both my in-laws.  Even though we knew my FIL had severe emphysema, we didn’t think the last time we saw him would be anywhere near the last time.  Same with my MIL( who unexpectedly died in her sleep).  I pray for a peaceful passing for him and a feeling of peace  for your family.

jfkoc

tucking you into the pocket over my heart

mommyandme (m&m)

Oh my… hard to hear this for you and yours. I’m very sorry! My hope is peace and comfort for all of you. My thoughts are with you.

Joydean

Good thoughts and prayers for you and your family. You have definitely been a warrior and fantastic caregiver for your FIL.

Olly_Bake

Oh MayFlowers. Prayers sent!

harshedbuzz

May Flowers-

Wishing you and your family peace at this time.

Even when you know how this story will end and even when you have accepted hospice and all that entails emotionally, this stage can seem very sudden.

HB

​fesk

Sending prayers your way.

Martin Robbins

I certainly feel for you, May.  It's sad.  It happened to me quickly as well.  After losing the ability to swallow, which of course means no food or water, my mother went in 12 days, which is a long time.

May flowers

Thank you all, it means so much.

We had 8 family members show up today and spend the day, with 4 kids  - I appreciated them being here but I kept falling asleep. 

He is still not drinking, just a sip here and there and ice chips but more just to keep his mouth moist, most of it dribbles back out, but otherwise he seems stable and comfortable. He is completely unresponsive and not opening his eyes.

MN Chickadee

I'm sorry May Flowers. That's pretty much how covid went for my mother. It sounds like it won't be long now.  Even when we are expecting it, sometimes even hoping it comes soon, the death of our PWD is not easy. You think you have been grieving all along but it turns out there is plenty left. The covid aspect made it even more difficult for me, to have my mother be another number in the death count from this relentless pandemic. There are silver linings, if you can call it that. I am glad she didn't linger in stage 7 for years. But it still seemed too son, I was not done taking care of her. Give him a good send off. Tell him what is in your heart, he can hear it. And even if he can't you will have comfort later knowing at least you said it.  You have been so amazing to him, he is lucky to have you and your spouse.

​fesk

May flowers, have been thinking of you. How are you all doing?

May flowers

Hi Fesk,

Well, he had a bit of a rally yesterday. He was alert and communicating. His oxygen is back up, no fever, and his cough has gone away, so he’s off oxygen and only needed morphine a couple of times yesterday when he looked uncomfortable. He drank about 8 oz of liquid, an ensure, ate an egg and a cup of yogurt. We didn’t push food or drink, just held it up to him and he leaned forward with his mouth open to take it so I know he wanted it.

It could be recovering or a temporary rally, I’m not sure. He had 2 partial doses and 1 full dose of antibiotics so over the two days so maybe that is kicking in? Hard to say. 

His swallowing is still scary. He has been on thickened liquids and finely chopped foods for several months, but this is worse. Sometimes he swallows and sometimes he pockets his food or swishes his liquid so I feel like he could aspirate again any moment. From what I read of other’s experience on here, it’s very likely. 

I have to make the call about the caregivers coming back tomorrow (he’s tested negative for Covid for several days now so that’s not an issue for their return now) but I have to train them on how to offer fluids. I wonder if the agency would even allow them to feed him for liability reasons. Even if I have to be the one to do that, it’s still somewhat of a break. I don’t know.

dwadd333

I'm so sorry. Prayers from my heart to yours. God bless.

​fesk

It sounds as if he is more comfortable now. I hope you are able to get a little rest yourself. Please keep us posted.

Battlebuddy

   May Flowers

   You have been a wonderful care giver: kind and caring. 

   It does seem like the swallowing is not working right, but there are ebbs and flows to the ability. We have had swallowing issues here for months. It comes and goes. 

   But I also have heard that once they get aspiration pneumonia , it can happen easily again. Some people treat the first time with antibiotics, and then some people let nature take its course. 

   I’ll be praying for this part of the journey. 

jmlarue

Sending virtual hugs to you and yours as your FIL seems to be entering the final stage of this journey. It was wonderful to hear that the family rallied round for him and for you. This has been a particularly exhausting time of caregiving with the bout of Covid and the pneumonia battle. Will keep you and your family in my prayers. If his time to pass is at hand, I wish him peace.

May flowers

His rally continues, and his eating/drinking are back to where he was before (he was already on thickened liquids). Vitals all back to normal, and he is alert and communicating.

Unless this is the rally before the end, he is doing well. I know all of that must have done a number on him in ways we cannot see, heart, etc.

The only thing that is different now, is he has lost quite a bit of weight.

Hoot619

Your still in my prayers and I hope you are getting some good rest. I'm glad for you that you can talk to him and he is doing better.

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

Hugs and prayers to you and yours May Flowers. I'm sure you know, but a reminder you don't have to push yourself to come on. Take everything one step at a time. Good luck to ypur FiL (((hugs)))

Joydean

May flowers , sorry I haven’t seen much of post lately and was searching for your post. Wow it took me all the way back to 2015. I’m glad your FIL is back to eating a little anyway. My prayers are with you and your family, all scares and bless his heart he is a fighter for sure. I hope you have been able to get some rest.

PEACENOW

I just read this and prayed for you, your loved one and your family.  I sense your heart's pain. 

Coco3

Sending prayers.

Navi2

Prayers are with you. Sending you much virtual support. My mom seems to be on this timeline too.  She was on continuous decline but active, then she got COVID 2 weeks ago and seemed to recover ok. But is now not eating, drinking and is sleeping. You can prepare but it seems nothing really prepares you for how this progresses. Thinking of you

May flowers

Sorry to hear you are dealing with this as well. I appreciate all the prayers and well-wishes

He has recovered from the pneumonia and his lungs are clear, vitals are good (98% oxygen, 70 heart rate, 105/70 bp), alert, and communicating. Hospice nurse thinks it’s likely not a rally at the point, signs point to recovery. But of course, no one really knows.

He is eating well when he is awake now, but sleeping a lot more. We have a 3 hour window in the morning and 3 hours in the evenings, so we just make sure he eats and drinks as much as he wants during those times.

His chewing and swallowing, and ability to feed himself finger foods is actually better than it was pre-Covid. This makes me wonder if he had some silent infection that resolved with the antibiotics. The prednisone is clearing up a rash he had as well.  

mommyandme (m&m)

Glad things are settling in and he’s feeling better.  This rollercoaster is relentless. Sorry for these struggles. Thanks always for sharing and this update.

Joydean

May flower, wow may sound a little off but I have to admire your FIL! Just when you think he’s down he comes right back! So happy he is able to eat and feed himself. He is truly a fighter!  I hope I haven’t said anything disrespectful  because that’s not my intention. My prayers are with you and your family.

May flowers

M&M, it is a rollercoaster for sure. It’s pretty exhausting sometimes

Joy, that is exactly what everyone says, including his hospice nurse. He IS a fighter!