Moving Day is Friday

M1

short notice, got a call this morning that her new room is ready and we will be moving from the old facility to the new one on Friday (two days away). whew. went to sign papers, etc. this afternoon and saw the room, then went to the current facility--as luck would have it, they had taken my partner out for ice cream, so the timing was perfect and I was able to pack up a lot of her room. My car looks like the Grapes of Wrath, but it will help to have so much of it already out of there on Friday morning. Probably will make a late-afternoon trip to the new place tomorrow, a lot of details still to be worked out. but i was glad for the opportunity this afternoon to thank her three favorite aides in person. they clearly get why I'm doing this, so no hard feelings, although I know they are sincere when they say they are going to miss her.

What a whirlwind. But the sooner the better, she is withering away because no one is engaging her. The new place is more space, more opportunities, better trained staff I think. Only time will tell now. More to follow.

Joe C.

M1, I hope the transition goes smoothly. Good luck.

jfkoc

fingers and toes crossed again...

Joydean

Praying the transition goes smoothly and without any hiccups! Best of luck to you and your partner!!

Jeff86

Will be thinking of you on Friday, M1, and hoping the move goes well and the new facility is everything you hope it is.

you are a fantastic advocate for your partner

Jo C.

Dear M; Wow! Wonderful news and that was fast! With highest of hopes and best of good wishes for this to be a significant positive. I think the butterflies in my tummy would have butterflies in their tummies! I can only imagine the feats of derring do this is taking to get all settled; Grapes of Wrath, indeed!

Does she have a private room or does she share? Did anyone tell you if they have a formal "welcoming" dynamic on the first day or perhaps an assigned "guide" for the first week or so to get her to the dining room and activities and smooth her path around the facility and with other residents? Of course, she has been pretty independent.

The setting sounds like something far more engaging for her capabilities and I can imagine her settling in hands on with things she enjoys doing; you have worked so hard to have this happen, may it be a great fit and a wonderful blessing for the both of you, and hopefully you do not have to provide your own toilet paper as has been required by the present place, (smile).

Sure will be thinking of you on Friday.

J.

Jgirl57

So happy for you both that this is happening.!!!

ImMaggieMae

Wow! That was fast. So glad everything is moving ahead so quickly. Praying that the move goes smoothly. I’ll be thinking of you on Friday.

Ed1937

I'm thrilled for both of you. Maybe she'll be more accepting to having you visit alone. Great news!!

GothicGremlin

Oh my gosh! That's so fast - but I'm happy for you both. I'll be thinking all good thoughts on Friday!

Dio

M1, that's wonderful! When stars align, things happen smoothly. All's meant to be.

Quilting brings calm

That was fast. I hope the move goes smoothly.

Elshack

Hoping and praying the move takes place with little to no drama or trauma. Glad you could thank the 3 aides your companion liked. Keep us posted!

Jo C.

Ten o'clock here and I was about to get ready for bed when this question suddenly popped into my mind: How will your partner be transferred to the new facility, and did you plan to be with her in the transfer vehicle or is she okay being without you in a transfer vehicle?

When transferring your partner to the new facility, if you planned to transport her yourself, will she be calmly stable in mind being transported in your own private car which she is familiar with . . . or would she think that since she recognizes it is your car and you are driving, would she strongly insist on being taken directly home which has been an ongoing issue for her .. . . OR . . .

If you had planned to be with her in the transfer vehicle, would it be a positive to have a medi-van, or other small medi-vehicle transport the two of you together so she does not feel the familiarity of your car? In such a situation, perhaps the friends who have visited her with you can drive your car behind the medi-vehicle to the new facility . . . .

I am willing to bet you already have this well covered, but wanted to ask, "just in case." This came to mind since transport was quite a trigger issue for my LO who could not be transported anywhere in my vehicle due to the reason brought up here; in our instance, my LO was transported in a medi-car with me driving behind it. Just had to do that to avoid major meltdowns with demands.

Only one day away; we will all be with you in spirit on Friday.

J.

Beachfan

Finally! And hopefully, the final need to move her for peace of mind for both of you. I see now why total satisfaction with a facility’s operation makes all the difference in the world (and availability of toilet paper is paramount!). Best of luck going forward.

mrahope

So glad a better placement is on the horizon for you and DW. Hope all goes smoothly and any bumps in the road are manageable.

White Crane

M1, I am so happy that this move is finally happening! Praying for a smooth transition and for peace for both of you.

White Crane

Gig Harbor

Good luck with the move. Praying that all goes smoothly.

mommyandme (m&m)

So hope this is a smooth enough transition. All of it is hard, she’s so fortunate that you’re in charge. Thanks for the updates.

Lills

Great news! Hope you all have a smooth moving day! All the best!

[Deleted User]

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toolbeltexpert

M1 you know I will be praying for you that all goes well. When dw move from a place she had been in just over a month I moved her in our vehicle but made sure I was near any familiar roads that went towards our home. It was a straight shot no stops, when we got to the new place she asked why we were there. I told her we were just visiting someone.the staff welcomed us it was supper time and we had a table for 2 by a window. We had supper watched a hummingbird and when the staff distracted her I was gone and finished bringing her stuff in while they kept her busy. It all went smooth. I was wondering if you might have decided to minimize the stuff she had, I didn't know if she ever unpacked anything. My dw is still keeping stuff for me to take home everyday.

M1

Thank you guys so much--I will update tomorrow night. We're on the launch pad, crazy couple of days. the biggest practical hurdle is making sure the meds transfer correctly--with so many state and pharmacy restrictions transferring chronic narcotics for scoliosis and rheumatoid arthritis is no small feat. Last thing we want is a fire drill over a weekend about any missed doses. They don't usually do transfers on Fridays for that very reason. but we think we're good. I went in this afternoon and set her up with enough clothes and toiletries to get started (toilet paper is there, thank you, and I was given a family handbook off the bat about what families are expected to provide). New laundry basket, shower curtain that I think she'll like, etc. And she IS allowed to have her own soap and toiletries in her room, don't have to be locked up. Geez. Going back early in the morning to hang some pictures (if she'll leave them up, we'll see). And to take pillows and toothbrush, which I forgot.

Our good friends are meeting me at the current facility in the morning and they are going to drive her over, i will follow behind. And staff knows when we're coming, is already planning how to engage her, and we'll stay for lunch if it plays right and then bow out. Remainder of belongings and furniture booked to come back to the farm next week.

Appreciate so much all the thoughts and prayers. I feel better already. But time will tell. More tomorrow.

Jo C.

Friday has arrived and I am thinking of you.

The plans sound perfectly thought out and the new facility sounds warmly welcoming and effective. Very different approach from the initial facility.

May this work well with an easy adaptation period. M1; no one could have done better - you are awesome.

J.

P.S. Glad to hear about the toilet paper . . .

Vitruvius

Wishing you the best of luck. Looking forward to how it went.

M1

Well, it's done. I got up early, went to hang pictures and personalize the room as much as I could, then met our friends at the old facility--she was in a good mood and left with them easily. Took me about 45 minutes to pack up and sign out (tons of paperwork for the medications). She was enjoying a tour at the new place when I finally got there, but she gradually became upset when it became clear that she was going to be staying there. Gave our dear friends a dose of the triggering I've been so familiar with. And despite my telling them not to many times, they tried to reason with her. Which of course doesn't work. So we ended up not staying for lunch, we just left while the nurse was checking her in (the unit nurse is also from east Texas, so immediate connection there). The social worker just emailed me, she's tearful currently, just wants to stay in her room, but told the social worker that she trusted her. So: about what I expected.

She is a very visual person, she is going to respond positively to the better more open and lighter physical environment, of that I feel sure. I know I've done the right thing, now it's just a matter of time. I'm exhausted. It's truly been an awful year. I may be facing some letdown just now that it's done.

Jo C.

Hello M; it is done. I can well imagine that you are indeed exhausted to the core. You did everything as best could ever be done; you left no stone unturned. As you well know, there is always a period of adaptation, especially when there is a change and this adaptation period has begun it's first step. it is a new and unfamiliar setting and new unfamiliar people, it will take a bit of time to get oriented. Lovely that the Social Worker has already called you with a report; no big delays which is a very good sign.

A big blessing is that the staff seems far more professionally capable and caring to deal with the dynamics and to do everything to set your partner's mind at ease these first days. Even though I do not know your partner personally, from what you have written over time, I think she will soon adapt and engage before too long due to the quality and appeal of her environment.

Rest and recoup as best can; wish I could pour you a glass of wine. You have done a truly wonderful job and it was bound to be exhausting; I can imagine this will be heavily on your mind until the dust settles. Here is looking hopefully forward to much better days . . .

J.

PookieBlue

Wow M1, You’ve survived a major ordeal. Now sit back and take in some deep breaths. May the days ahead be very much less stressful than the past.

Valerie

Jgirl57

Have a “good” weekend.

jfkoc

Bravo Zulu