Moving Day is Friday

Ed1937

M1, even though she didn't immediately jump for joy at the new place, it sounds as if it's already an improvement. Praying for her to get comfortable with the new people and surroundings in short time.

M1

Jumping for joy would not have been in character. I think we'll be okay, hard to put her through short-term pain for long-term gain. Really to be expected though. She already doesn't remember the other place and I think is just disoriented. Back to wanting go home to Texas to be with her mother and father. But responds well to kind people. Spoke to the head nurse around 530, suggested we keep our distance for a few days, which again is what I expected. But communication already much improved-just the fact that there's a dedicated cell phone for the nurse on duty is a huge improvement.

jfkoc i had to look up Bravo Zulu but thank you. My naval pilot uncle would scold me for not knowing the lingo.

Dio

M1, you know you did the best you could, and you did right by your wife!! Now it's time to recharge your battery. Then you can face whatever comes next. The swirl of emotions will assault you at times. Let them flow through, and they, too, shall pass. Relax this weekend. Recoup. Recharge. You deserve it!

toolbeltexpert

M1 I am glad to hear it went well. This went really well IMHO. It's gonna take a while now just gotta bear with it, it does get better. Sure like the sounds of the reports right off the bat and you gotta like that Texas connection that will foster a bond real quick. Lots of really positive stuff. Now pat yourself on the back.

M1

Already moving in the right direction. Was sent some photos this morning, by the afternoon she was engaging, participated in planting some big pots for the garden, helped set the table for dinner, was smiling and engaging with other residents. The social worker commented that it was amazing what she noticed and commented on about the architecture of the building.

My heart is finding some peace. We can do this. She may still trigger on me, but we'll see.

jfkoc

O.T. Bravo Zulu is an automatic expression in our family. My husband was also a Navy strike fighter pilot ...one of 13 Red Rippers and he flew for Air America in Laos. I still miss him like crazy.

I see that toolbelt is familiar with the expression too. I can not imagine how he/she managed to post those flags!

Back on topic. How relieved you must be....I am uncrossing fingers and toes and doing the happy dance with you!!!!

Battlebuddy

So glad it’s done. She’s going to love the gardens and birds for sure

Jo C.

What wonderful caring communications you have received . . and photos! Big difference from before and so very kind and thoughtful on behalf of families. It is wonderful to hear that she is connecting and already participating, this is really good news. A lot less stress than the transfer day I would imagine and easier to have confidence in the staff of this marvelous sounding place. I had to smile at your Partner's commentary on the architectural structure of the building being that was part and parcel of her professional career all those years. Great bit of detailed information from the Social Worker. They really see the individual which is marvelous.

May your weekend feel more free and settled and give you a bit of time to do something nice for yourself.

Big hug and continuing bestest of thoughts for this blessing to continue,

J.

Ed1937

That is really a step in the right direction. You've waited a long time to see something like that. That MC sounds impressive.

M1

Oh Ed, I am almost crying tears of gratitude. In this first 24 hours have heard from the social worker three times today and the nursing staff twice Just a few minutes ago the social worker told me she is wandering the facility (three connected residence pods), reading things and taking it all in. Each pod has an open kitchen (the residents have access), and she gets to choose where she eats. She was in another pod (not where her room is) and the cook there made her something to eat because she was hungry. She commented on the architecture of the building and pointed out a water problem they were unaware of in their music room. They thanked her and she said, "well, it's not a new building any more." That's my honey.

I feel like a plant starved for water, I just can't believe the relief and the difference. Makes me sadder than ever that we wasted a year. But i didn't have a choice, then, and am not sure I could have accomplished it any faster. At least now I have some hope that maybe her quality of life will improve for a little bit, no matter how long she still has.

Dio

M1, so good to hear! Hopefully, you the bandwidth to take care of yourself now.

ImMaggieMae

M1, this sounds like it’s going to be perfect for her. Wonderful communication already. That is huge. I’m so happy for both of you. You can finally sit back and breathe.

Ed1937

I know you must be beyond thrilled. What a difference between facilities!

Jeff86

Thrilled for you, M1, that the early adjustment is so promising and the staff is a 180 from the prior place.

your patience is being rewarded—well done and well deserved.

Quilting brings calm

What a difference! Hopefully she continues to settle in and you can visit more often here.

White Crane

Dear M1, this is marvelous! I am so happy for you...and for her! You have worked so hard to accomplish this move and now it has happened and it is working out. She is engaging and the staff is already sending pictures and calling you! This must be such a tremendous relief for you! Get some rest and I pray that you find yourself smiling more and relaxing more knowing you have done the very best for her.

Brenda

ARgirl

M1,

It was encouraging and terrifying to read these post. I am about to place my spouse within the next week or two into memory care. Going into 11 years of early onset disease. I am exhausted as well and faced the same issues you did. Visiting facility this week, then admission date will be determined. I am terrified, but realize this must change. I cannot do this any longer. He will be safer, I will be safer. All the rationalizations we make! But thank you for the information you shared, though I know it was emotionally exhausting. I will post when our task is done as well.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

toolbeltexpert

M1 I couldn't be happier for you and thank God for answering your prayers. Attentive staff, more room to roam, the activities she can still engage in all add up to some peace for you. Now may your visits be pleasant. Maybe you can check off a few of those things that need done. Dont forget to take care of you go do something you enjoy, thats a hard one for me to do, I did manage to go to the flea market Saturday and bought a tool I seem to have lost and didn't get depressed about doing it. We've got a few nice days this week to get some stuff done. Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy. Maybe I'll find my ear buds and listen to some JD.

Stewart

M1

Good advice from all of you...Yes, I know my mind runs ahead of my heart and body. I need to find those earbuds too, music has been missing. But also helpful to know that we all feel this way. so helpful not to be alone.

Glad to have found another EB White fan Jeff. I wish I could have talked about him to your wife in her heyday. I bet we would have enjoyed it. Here's to those we love.

Jo C.

What a wonderful, wonderful outcome! I am delighted for you and for the peace this brings. May this joy filled caring place also bring peace to your beloved as well as to yourself. You did it! She is truly blessed to have you love her so and to be her very capable advocate. While no place will be 100% perfect as we would so wish it to be, this sounds like nothing short of a miracle.

I understand the difference of mind and heart lines of thought; being in medicine we tend to think knowledge based intellectually in the midst of heartfelt times; comes with those degrees, but never fault yourself. This was a progression that had no other path as you could not access a space there when the need was so deeply and immediately acute - you have done the best that ever could be.

What a staff to be so wonderfully in contact; they surely do understand the family member's feelings and worries. Keep us posted, I look for your Threads and Posts.

An aside: Could not find the text of EB Whites, "Memorandum." Looked and looked online, but no luck. I love to read and this author sounds like one I would enjoy, so I shall have to look again.

Big, big hug being sent your way - very well done, M1,

J.

M1

No I imagine the copyrights are still intact Jo. I have it in a collection, "The Essays of EB White." I know available in paperback. Most folks know him as the author of Charlotte's Web and Stuart Little (and The Trumpet and the Swan), but he wrote for the New Yorker for decades and also published a grammar reference textbook (Strunk and White) that is still used.

mommyandme (m&m)

M1, so happy for you and your partner. This new chapter of your lives seems bound for success. Thank you, as always, for sharing your life with all of us. So helpful to so many.

M1

No new updates as of today really, am anxious to hear more. Did hear from the new nurse practitioner, though--very helpful, very thorough. She said the other facility had referred my partner for some physical therapy for her back and she thought it was a good idea---absolutely the first I'd heard of it! Another example of the absolute lack of communication, it was like yelling into a void to try to get any information. Good riddance to that other place. The more I get to compare, the more PO'd I am. Won't help to spin my wheels though--I'm just glad we're finally, finally on a different track.