Delusions of moving - on a loop

SPaint

Both in-laws are suffering from dementia issues. However, right now concern is with my elderly MIL. She is in a care facility. She has started having delusions that she is moving. She has packed up her china display plates and other knick knacks. She is insistent she is moving. So many texts and phone calls... Just too much to reiterate here... They include accusations and telling me I am not her family and never come to see her.... even telling her eldest son that her only family is the youngest son and his wife (they live opposite side of country).

I've been just going along trying to meet her where she is... I do not dispute her and instead say things like we will figure it out together, I agree it must be computer error and we can work on getting that fixed, etc.

She is not stopping. She started an antidepressant a week ago and I know it can take a couple weeks or so to help
and that it may not help. This has been going on for 3 weeks or so. A urinary tract infection was cleared up and no change...

Is there a time when I should suggest to her if she wants to unpack her beautiful things and set them up in her room so she can enjoy them while we wait on the movers because movers would pack them? Could her very depressive and empty looking room be feeding into her issues? The care facility is brand new, she has an apartment, big, beautiful windows, bright lights and light colors highlighted, gorgeous courtyard, etc.

Any suggestions would be appreciated. My husband and I are just trying to hang in there and hope that the medication can at least give her a little relief from all of the depression and anxiety. She has basically created this moving narrative and is in turn becoming anxious because of the move. She will not accept that there is not a move and will go after you even more.

terei

Number 1, quit taking the phone calls. Tell her your phone is in for repairs or whatever you want. Do not reply to texts. If you visit, ignore the packed items. If she tells you she is moving, ask her questions where are you moving to?when is this happening? keep it all conversational, as if a friend told you she was moving. ‘Oh, we will be interested to see your new place!’ Go along with the delusion as long as it doesn’t agitate her.

Say whatever it takes to keep her satisfied + calm. Do NOT bring up the packed items or anything else having to do with the ‘move’. If she brings it up, then be matter of fact. Don’t tell her she isn’t moving. Try to change the subject.

M1

Hate to tell you but this is a pretty common behavior and you may not be able to break it. My partner has been packing up her things in MC for over a year now. I never broker her of it at her first facility, and she is still doing it at a new place where we've been for just a week--however, at the new place she has been much more accepting of letting me unpack and put things back up. One suggestion: keep it very, very simple, Maybe just a few things, not all of them. Easier on her and you.