Shower / Bath

Grandma Sandy

What are some tips for getting a LO to take a shower? Or a bath? All I get is a defiant "NO".

nancyj194

Hi Sandy, this does happen a lot with Alzheimer's and dementia. My husband never was a daily shower person, so following the Alzheimer's diagnosis, I noticed him taking fewer showers. He's in his 80s and rarely goes outside or does anything to cause him to sweat. I make sure he wears deodorant and clean shirts.

Now and then he will surprise me saying he is going to take a shower. I brighten up and smile and say, "great!" Sometimes he forgets and no shower happens.

Some people shower with their spouses and that helps. Our shower is way too small for two people to fit inside.

Last week my husband and I became sick with Covid. I thought we were protected with the vaccines and boosters, but we were not. I followed all of the guidelines the last three years and yet here we are. Paxlovid did help to be sick for a shorter period of time.

Anyway, my point of cleanliness is that my husband said he was unable to wipe himself after he became so sick. This spring, our son had put a Bidet in our main bathroom and so I was blessed with not having the task of cleaning my husband's bottom.

He liked the warm toilet seat and the warm spray cleaning him off. There is also a warm dryer function. When he brought forth some toilet paper, it was clean and wet. The best purchase we have made in years!!

This may not help you and I do understand. I was too sick to shower for three days and felt/looked like a dirty throw rug washed up on bank after a flood.

M5M

Nancy, would you share the brand of bidet….I want to get one “for me” since DH thinks it’s silly. I’m hoping if I have it now he will become used to it.

nancyj194

M5M, it is a Kohler Novita full-featured Bidet.

Costco had this one.

It is what our son had, so it was an easy choice.

ButterflyWings

My beloved is a long time bath/shower refuser. This after LOVING his daily shower for 60+ years. It was honestly like a switch flipped and suddenly the dementia club rules said STOP.

After many wild episodes of trying to overcome this, I finally threw in the towel so to speak. He has been very clean (for years!) with adult wipes and no rinse bath/shampoo products plus a very pure moisturizer lotion. I clean his nether parts after every single bathroom break, and I wipe down everything else daily. Head to toe. Usually it is easiest when he is toileting.

He typically smells better than me, looks and is fresh and clean, has no skin breakdown, and he (or Alz) won this one. I realized I just had to shift my brain about the obligatory shower or bath. It isn't really necessary. Keeping clean is, and that can be accomplished in many different ways.

Here is a thread from 2+ years ago, when I was exactly where you are, throwing out the lifeline to get advice! DH will not bathe or shower — ALZConnected

SDianeL

Read the book "The 36 Hour Day" has lots of tips to get them to do things. It explains why they don't want to take a shower. The steps too complicated for them and they forget how long it's been since they last showered. I got my DH to shower twice a week by making a deal with him that on the 2 days we go get him a newspaper he will take a shower. (He still reads the newspaper front to back. Don't know if he remembers any of it but it seems to calm him.) On shower "days" I get his shower ready. We put a seat in the tub for him to sit on, got a step to make it easier to get in. Got a hand shower wand. I get his towel, wash cloth, body wash and put the step by the tub. I then tell him it's shower day and his shower is ready. I even turned on the water to get it warm a couple of times but now he does that on his own. Sometimes that works. Sometimes he's resistant and I just say "OK you can take it tomorrow" and we go through the same thing the next day but he does usually take it the next day. It's not stubbornness.

M5M

Thanks for the bidet information, and an interesting post overall.

nancyj194

M5M, you are welcome.