Taking this all in

korbkelly

:(

My mom, 71 years old, got the diagnosis not too long ago. My dad, same age, told me yesterday. My parents live in Ohio, I live in Massachusetts.
Her mother died at 75 from the disease, well, from a heart attack. But she had Alzheimer's for about 10 years. I don't have many memories of my grandmother, as I was very young.

We all knew this was coming eventually, but my mom's decline started so rapidly. My sister noticed changes around Mother's day, and here we are. I'm still trying to grapple with all of this. I'm a nurse by trade, I've cared for folks with Alzheimer's/dementia, but man...this is so much different when it's your own family.
I'm just worried about my dad. They've been married for 42 years this December. He's taking this really hard. We both said yesterday we just wish we had more time to prepare for this. Trying to take things one day at a time.

eaglemom

I'm so sorry your here, and having to deal with long distance care giving. We are here to help you along the journey that no one want to take.

This is fresh news, you are in shock. It takes a while to absorb it - for it to become your 'regular' life. Don't worry about it. At this point just take a day at a time. Of course you want to support your dad, I don't blame you. But, he might not be ready for support yet. Since he just told you, he too is digesting what this diagnosis means in his life. I would encourage him to have coffee with his buddies, golf, whatever - don't just be home. And also make certain all of the financial accounts, etc are in order. For now that is enough. Any more and he'll be overwhelmed and do nothing.

You might check if his area has a local ALZ Chapter that offers any support groups. Also in your area for you to attend. That that be a great source of information.

Come back often. We want to help you and both of your parents. Remember to breath.

eagle

Sandias

korbkelly - I'm so sorry for the bad news. Since this is still very fresh. it is NOT a time to make ANY rushed decision. Since you're a nurse, and have cared for Alz patients, you might be pressured into caring for your mother.

Warning: Do not, Do Not, DO NOT quit your job and move in to become your mother's caregiver. Your life as you know it will be over. You can help by getting and arranging for her and your dad the appropriate help they need.

Do not give up your life. Don't be guilted into it.

charley0419

My DW was diagnosed 1-yr ago mild Alz , put her on trail for about 2 months saw no changes but we didnt know I f taking meds or placebo so felt maybe a approved med would be better. She took for 2 weeks got side effect and stoped. Now she says won’t take anything but that’s another story. I forget correct term but she’s in complete denial. Neurologist told her not to drive that didn’t go well.

she has short memory loss gets very confused at times but other then that you’d never know anything wrong. Not interested in cooking , and use to love, I can leave her alone.

my question is with her in denial and by the way talks to no one not even kids on her issues, at what point and how do I bring in help as if I brought sonn my sone in now she’d freak out. As I said completely in denial

BMarshall

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/65877/taking-this-all-in

Both my parents have dementia at the end stage and the pain is terrible but if you believe just pray, as God is the only one to help. Even you and mostly you to help you during this most difficult time

ElizaBH

Just here to say you're not alone. This is my first time on here, and I didn't expect to see such a familiar story almost first thing. I'm in MA, and my 78yo mom is in Nebraska. The warning bells started last April, and she was diagnosed in September. Her mother spent the last 10 years of her life in a memory care facility. It's so hard to know how best to help from so far away.